I've always felt like many missed out on blogging or real writing (which blogging can only claim but not own) by posting all that shit on Facebook is just downright stupid (sorry I love you but c'mon!!!). If you're gonna write about it, just fucking write about it. Like, seriously dude. WRITE. Write like you're in a drug fueled Tom Wolfe rage or Hunter S. Thompson freaking monologue. Or write about it somewhere anywhere but facebook. Or twitter (is it possible to write on twitter?).
On moving forward, I say, you are probably a runner and good on you but I think that we need to analyze that statement. And our intentions. Let's actually simplify by making some social media rules that would make me feel like it's not a freaking hell of self indulgent running:
RULES, beginning as one might expect with #2. Yes, I said #2:
2. You're so awesome to be sponsored! Oh you're so great.... but we don't need to hear about it everyfreakingdayc'mon. Seriously, you could be the best in the world and if you keep posting selfies of you and your greatest love-bomb partner/sponsor we are going to start hating you one post at a time until we have to cover our eyes to the blinding obnoxious promotion. Ok, we understand... I UNDERSTAND that we make a living off of partnerships, well some of us, and I do admittably. But I don't plan to rub that in your 9-5 ass. Got it? Get it? Good! Pass on to those that don't #ambassadorks
1. Back to #1 --- YO. That's you baybay! It's simple, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. I just said this to my 11 and 8yr olds and they admitted "that's what grandma says" and they stopped being rude to each other, it was amazing honestly. Listen to your G-Ma! As long as she isn't a bigot.
3. If you're a woman expect people to friend you just because they are interested in you romantically and expect to loose those people if you get in a relationship. Not that those people would ever do anything to actually connect with you in person, but they expect you to be single to give you their praise. Forget about them. You are important, man or woman, regardless of your sexual appeal and/or sexuality. At least you are on this freaking #rainbowblog.
4. Facebook is the media giant. Twitter is about simplicity and being funny but concise. If you are a talker you won't get twitter. Just stay away. The other programs are on their way, try them and let me know what you think. If you Linktn (linkten? linktin? Not sure how it's spelled???) me, just know that I don't really do anything there, ie: I probably won't accept your anything and it's not because you're not awesome but rather it's because we all only have so much time for the computer and I'm sure as hell not going to be there!
5. Consider "unfollowing" vs. "unfriending" unless you really really want to cut ties 'cause that kind of social media breakup is major and they will probably find out. Sooooo .... yeah....
6. Social media isn't about making YOU feel better. It's about making "them" feel included and cared about. Well, that is if you care about anyone other than yourself. I would suggest y'all at least make it feel like you do.
7. Back to #ambassadorks: ok here's the thing, you are the only one who cares who gives you free shit so think of a cool way to include your free shit sponsors without killing our running highs. Thank you in advance for not posting you biting metals/gels/bars or posting solely about a company who pays you money to post. Zzzzzzzz We won't buy it ever. So stop now.
8. I was napping did I miss something? Oh yeah! Remember that life is more important that anything online. Make a priority of being a real in-person human!
9. Read 0-8.
10. Read 0-9.
11. That's it! Cheers! Love and hearts and emojis and shit. Shit too yeah! XO