Wednesday, May 29, 2013

10 Commandments of Sincerely Unapologetic Runners

I've had enough of the wimpy-poo trail etiquette rules.  So, yeah I have my own religion of running.  Here are the 10 Commandments of Sincerely Unapologetic Runners:

1. WEAR YOUR DIRT & SWEAT WITH PRIDE.  So your legs and trail shoes are covered in mud from that 12 miler you just did?  That's no reason not to pick up your Nutella and tortillas at the co-op on the way home.  You were having so much fun running on the ridge you realize you only have 20 minutes until your hot date?  No worries, a  few wipies and a quick change of clothes and you're ready.  Heck, if s/he doesn't like your trail style it's better to know sooner than later!
The ideal date
2. SNOT IS NORMAL. Just tell me when it's dried on my nose and we're all good. Capiche?  It's that simple. Snot happens. Friends tell friends.

3. IF I'M HOBBLING BE SURE TO CONGRATULATE ME.  Of course I'm okay!  I just ran 100 fricking miles. Penguin walk is done with pride.  Not to worry, I'll loosen up after 10 minutes.  Or a couple of days...

4. BEER IS A POST RACE DRINK. Forget the Gatorade. Forget the water. Okay, water is good too. Take it from Karl Meltzer. He has thirty five 100 mile wins to his legendary name and what's his crosstraining tip? Beer. Bottoms up folks!
the Speedgoat knows the benefits of beer
5. THOU SHALT HIGH-FIVE: That's right, forget that nod thingy you always do. Raise a hand to your fellow runners! Take it from race directors everywhere.

 6. RUN SHIRTLESS WITH PRIDE: I don't care if you're 400 pounds.  If taking off your shirt makes you feel more free then by all means shed that layer!  If it offends someone that's their problemo.  Enjoy the freedom of running!

7. THOU SHALL LINE UP IN ORDER OF SPEED. As a race director it sort of ticks me off when someone time after time lines up in the front of the pack just to be in the race photo. You know who you are.  Do you really want to be passed by 300 runners?  Ladies, if you are fast, get up in the front, don't be shy!

8. RUN FOR PLEASURE: If you don't like running, pick another sport.  Life is too short to spend it doing stuff you don't enjoy. I hear far too often of people running because they feel they have to.  There are many sports to choose from. Explore.

9. THERE IS NO PERFECT ANYTHING: What's the best trail shoe? The best pack? The best gel? The best electrolyte? Training plan?  Forget perfect, and explore what is best for you personally.  For shoes, visit your locally run shoe store and try on lots of different shoes.

10. MUSCLES ARE SEXY: Ladies stop being afraid of your muscles. They are hot.  Runner muscles are attractive on men and women.  Embrace your strength! 
Emelie Forsberg, need I say more?!
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20 comments:

  1. lanceMay 30, 2013 at 3:14 AM

    I can agree with #5. I once did a 10 mile run that was an out and back. On my way back I crossed a runner who gave me a high five. It put a smile on my face!

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  2. Sarah Lavender SmithMay 30, 2013 at 6:15 AM

    I would add to #2: farts are normal, and it's best not to comment on them.

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    1. UnknownOctober 2, 2013 at 12:18 PM

      :) haha, i recall at the young age of 13 doing my first 12 miler trail run with some ladies of the 16th year or older, having a great time, and the one i looked up to most begins tooting all the way up the hill...cranking her arms like a locomotive, never backing down...i was so shocked at first i didn't know what to say, then i learned it's part of the fun, became my own toot machine when the times were right, and never spoke up again.

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  3. @terrysrunningMay 30, 2013 at 6:58 AM

    All true. Including the pic with #10.

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  4. LucasMay 30, 2013 at 8:27 AM

    Great post! See you at RRR100 in Steamboat!

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  5. UnknownMay 30, 2013 at 8:41 AM

    Good stuff. Especially beer.

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  6. AnnMay 30, 2013 at 12:14 PM

    Awesome post. #Let's add spitting is normal too.

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  7. UnknownMay 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM

    I never EVER pass up a high five, and high fives from kids along a route are EXTRA awesome. Love it! So true (except beer is blech, but that's just me).

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  8. Dirty RunningMay 30, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    I think I picked the right religion.

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    1. UnknownOctober 9, 2013 at 10:13 AM

      I second that! Every time I escape society and go frolic in the woods I feel at peace and any stressors are thrown into purgatory for the time being.

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  9. AnonymousMay 30, 2013 at 8:11 PM

    Muscles are definetly Sexy! Skinny legs = not so much. Toned running legs = Yeah Baby!

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  10. UnknownMay 30, 2013 at 10:54 PM

    I like all of these. Good 10 commandments!

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  11. cosmopolliMay 31, 2013 at 1:52 AM

    hahaha, there is no perfect of anything - may out of this 10 commandments.
    love it!

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  12. Kim GatesJune 12, 2013 at 7:42 PM

    Love 'em!!!

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  13. NorthernskyJune 13, 2013 at 9:03 PM

    James ran away from me at Sun mountain or I would have landed the stellar high-five.

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  14. UnknownOctober 2, 2013 at 12:14 PM

    Thank you for this Candice, entertaining and all true, with a great sigh of relief, run on!

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  15. Relentless Forward CommotionOctober 2, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    Love it !

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  16. UnknownOctober 2, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    Great list! I hope to get a high-five at some point or the chance to give one.

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  17. UnknownMarch 12, 2014 at 11:48 AM

    THIS! Love it.

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  18. Running shoesNovember 21, 2014 at 10:28 AM

    Very cool list. I guess subconsciously we don't want to have to deal with all the negative comments that others make when we are doing something that we love. We want to stick with the regular rules and sometimes that prevents us from really enjoying ourselves the way we want to while running or doing any other hobby. It's not fulfilling behavior but we do it.

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