tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71460896570669583172024-03-28T20:29:40.532-07:00Candice BurtStories of an Ultra Runner and Adventure SeekerUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger372125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-72431984549229363532023-06-27T11:40:00.001-07:002023-06-27T11:40:07.865-07:00Between Sky and Earth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlKuAN9M9rcn04aN5Wwvo1ZpeokSV8u0ukV9_o80tOEZmaRDYUFkpQkxy9oj1vakvQC2GDm9VMXUfRA_BexqbH9L2Ra3IqZg-Sg8R5nOPfV_KMKw-izVujSnO4JxooNiiS6DNBwaxNgqaQOHiA757kK8_rYOevpVRUPxaAPYZbiG6J-BtY5DQK6gZ26uE/s3780/A01DAB75-2265-4D48-8F16-AAA720CD6E5E.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3780" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlKuAN9M9rcn04aN5Wwvo1ZpeokSV8u0ukV9_o80tOEZmaRDYUFkpQkxy9oj1vakvQC2GDm9VMXUfRA_BexqbH9L2Ra3IqZg-Sg8R5nOPfV_KMKw-izVujSnO4JxooNiiS6DNBwaxNgqaQOHiA757kK8_rYOevpVRUPxaAPYZbiG6J-BtY5DQK6gZ26uE/w320-h400/A01DAB75-2265-4D48-8F16-AAA720CD6E5E.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll never be a hiker,</span></div>I'd just take off down the trail</span><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div>Arms flapping, </div><div>Legs suspended above rock and snow</div><div>Accelerated experience,<br />Bundled into a day<br />And fifty miles.<br /><br />You can't ask the hummingbird<br />To slow it's dance through the flowers<br />It is incapable of using its feet<br />For anything but perching.<br /><div>Should it need to move <br />just two inches<br />It must fly,<br />Fifty flaps a second.<br /><br />I need to feel the freedom <br />Of being between sky and earth,<br />Suspended for moments, flying:</div><div>My legs are my wings <br />my arms guide me<br />My breathing moves me<br /><br />They ask, What motivates you? <br />I want to get as close to failure<br />as possible and succeed</div><div>To feel things beyond </div><div>my human form,</div><div>To fly</div></div><div><br /></div><div>6/27/23 </div><div>Mt. Massive, 14,428ft</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-725284772118014582023-05-31T17:23:00.004-07:002023-05-31T17:27:38.847-07:00What does the week AFTER a world record ultramarathon streak look like?<p>Day 207 marked a full week of runs winding down post-world record. It was a week to reflect and enjoy the downswing from a high intensity previous 6.5 months. Here are some thoughts on the "reverse taper" and day 207 as it marks a special day of recovery. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCVppglpPUq8mfSaU1RRH8_FQgNonEBuNcf5IPC8LRKYoWY63Hb0MPebLU0Vv4mnlk5KHePuolIO8QqdnO--gohIKp44dBsgLKzTN13yQNvWFgkHZBy08MBPmavSqd_b4X69_Z4RsRciirBjN3WMyk-1oz-whk_8QtZFoJ-UCqQK8SESkyCxQxOkMH/s2339/Running%2010%20-%20day%20sign.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2339" data-original-width="1754" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCVppglpPUq8mfSaU1RRH8_FQgNonEBuNcf5IPC8LRKYoWY63Hb0MPebLU0Vv4mnlk5KHePuolIO8QqdnO--gohIKp44dBsgLKzTN13yQNvWFgkHZBy08MBPmavSqd_b4X69_Z4RsRciirBjN3WMyk-1oz-whk_8QtZFoJ-UCqQK8SESkyCxQxOkMH/w300-h400/Running%2010%20-%20day%20sign.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><p><b>What's a reverse taper?</b> It's a gradual and gentle lowering of mileage to a baseline "upkeep level." For me an upkeep level is around the distance of a 10 mile run. Time wise that's an easy 1.5-2hrs. Keep in mind a reverse taper is a term I made up to describe how I am winding down and recovering from this big block of mileage. It's unlikely this kind of taper would be needed for training for most people as 220 mile weeks with no days off for 6+ months is... unheard of. I think it could be quite useful to other World Record streakers or those doing big miles day after day for months like on the PCT/ AT etc. For anyone else, it's an interesting idea that probably won't be necessary. </p><p><b>I explain more in the following write up that I wrote on day 207 (May 30, 2023): </b></p><p>Day 207 / 7 days after the world record / 10 miles today / 6,556 miles </p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">“I want to get as close to failure as possible, then succeed,”</span></b> I wrote yesterday in my journal. I love the taste of defeat, how it fires me up. I felt it intimately, I courted it for 6 months. </p><p>Today I clocked an easy 10 miles as I continue my reverse taper from 200 ultramarathons in 200 days. The run included a nice jaunt up a mountain. I’m feeling more and that’s weird because I thought I was feeling so much before. My body feels strong. My mind is content. It doesn’t matter what I did yesterday or last month. I feel an urge to move forward. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4nwhQQI1k1Laml7nolTRewlrRQgtPnb1jXvFsHa6t_uxTEa1Riu1SDqS4QZj4zcNn_Baelta0GQFQNgoXLA1r9CBJSK85LLAK6zGGHwwcD2Semz30nV-cAGYk7-tyGdB2p7Zydzo9N4GVcZMiZLR7T8-um5cTXEpnonQPkbRot5v_Ewy2McuQsqdj/s4032/IMG_6778.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4nwhQQI1k1Laml7nolTRewlrRQgtPnb1jXvFsHa6t_uxTEa1Riu1SDqS4QZj4zcNn_Baelta0GQFQNgoXLA1r9CBJSK85LLAK6zGGHwwcD2Semz30nV-cAGYk7-tyGdB2p7Zydzo9N4GVcZMiZLR7T8-um5cTXEpnonQPkbRot5v_Ewy2McuQsqdj/s320/IMG_6778.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><p>10 miles is like the blink of an eye, a casual stroll to the mailbox or a light outing with a good friend. in this case the good friend is my easy breathing, ever present Colorado wind now breathing summer air & the tap, tap, tap of my shoes in gravel. Compared to running a 50k, today is a light warm up. It’s important as it maintains my cardio system so it can continue to adapt & feed my body as it levels up from the immense effort of 6400miles in just 200 days— an effort that had me running over 220miles every week with no days off. To run such distance for so long & suddenly stop would be detrimental: my body is carefully honed to endurance. To perform hour after hour. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfCnyopWnVtQuyZyGi1QmHZDA1_ICOY0H__wlKcbRvnc-eh4IYQrCcNE-izOSEXKpdmbiWkyNNw8P9vkUZgCVX4KR4ZwRqGb8S3OeQEf3LV-e76ro3nSZ93C-GBnnQgd2nEahM7gvtCVaXpeAzVeUpK6uPbaG1BSnMOl1Fon3AEasfufRJOi1T-t44/s4032/IMG_4853-preview.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfCnyopWnVtQuyZyGi1QmHZDA1_ICOY0H__wlKcbRvnc-eh4IYQrCcNE-izOSEXKpdmbiWkyNNw8P9vkUZgCVX4KR4ZwRqGb8S3OeQEf3LV-e76ro3nSZ93C-GBnnQgd2nEahM7gvtCVaXpeAzVeUpK6uPbaG1BSnMOl1Fon3AEasfufRJOi1T-t44/s320/IMG_4853-preview.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Doing a quick pull up on Day 200. Photo by Jess Greene</i></div><p>Extraordinary things only seem extraordinary in hindsight. Day by day they are considered somewhat normal, perhaps weird or different, but it takes time for something to become extraordinary. You don’t see that from the outside. You don’t see the day to day toiling. </p><p>Structure is elusive as I reintegrate my extraordinary experience into a daily practice. It’s important to give myself time to reintegrate without too many boundaries or rules, while also to begin to decide how I want to structure my goals. </p><p>In 6 months it’s possible to emerge new— in both mind and body. I know it’s true, it happened. If you’re reborn from this wild journey, how do you move forward? You cannot go back. </p><p>You must break trail. Following someone else’s trail won’t lead you anywhere new. In this metaphor you can see it’s going to be a lot of hard work. I’m glad because I wouldn’t have it any other way.</p><p>If you'd like to read about each day in the week following my world record, please go to instagram where I have each day carefully outlined with video and write up: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/runcandicerun/">https://www.instagram.com/runcandicerun/</a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBB-ys0mM8yGunYVfdyM1ncft8gE7tk00u3wEUMI1kZaeEZigvJUltqyZWU1MNrWKVzFAxyQBEz8XJEKCNyMpwISekBTCVQNskrSLTmq52Ets3LTKtMv0bIoa-IESwysYFsPDi7pqaqYwj5rYH9XokjfZUSGLNvXzt3WkN1e7et3CB4MNsdWIsSTmN/s2096/Facetune_30-05-2023-17-18-35.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2096" data-original-width="1179" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBB-ys0mM8yGunYVfdyM1ncft8gE7tk00u3wEUMI1kZaeEZigvJUltqyZWU1MNrWKVzFAxyQBEz8XJEKCNyMpwISekBTCVQNskrSLTmq52Ets3LTKtMv0bIoa-IESwysYFsPDi7pqaqYwj5rYH9XokjfZUSGLNvXzt3WkN1e7et3CB4MNsdWIsSTmN/w360-h640/Facetune_30-05-2023-17-18-35.heic" width="360" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-8486060811667186972023-05-29T11:04:00.005-07:002023-05-29T12:10:57.049-07:00Setting a World Record: 200 days, 200 ultramarathons and 6,400 miles later<p>On November 5, before the leaves had fallen from the Cottonwood that line my favorite trail in Boulder, Colorado, before they had turned orange and yellow, before snow covered the landscape day after day I set out on an open-ended challenge to do as many consecutive 50ks as possible. Little did I know at that time that I did not have a limit, that my body would not break, but that it would breakthrough. </p><p>Early on I struggled with a lot of injuries and pain but my mind never once in those first 100 days wanted to quit. I didn't falter. I wanted to continue, with all my heart. In the midst of extreme shin pain that was so bad I couldn't put on a sock without agony, I asked my friend Adam, "Do you think I'd be able to use crutches or do you think that is not allowed for Guinness World Records?" It wasn't a joke, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to even walk. We decided it would not be allowed and if I got to that point I would have to quit. </p><p>As the pain came on slowly, so did it leave. Just barely less pain at first, enough that I allowed myself to hope that I could eventually be pain free. Once that pain was gone though, other pain came. It was as if pain would just move around and settle somewhere in my right leg. I wanted to finish the streak and set a world record on my own terms, without injury, but I wasn't sure if it was possible. </p><p>"How did you keep going when you wanted to stop?" People asked me those first 100 days of the world record runs. "I never wanted to stop," I answered. </p><p>As the HURT 100 mile race approached in January, my body became stronger and I only had lingering achilles and pelvis pain, both which were manageable. After the race and some serious post-race soreness from the intense climbs and descents, I had my fastest month yet in February, just as I was hitting 100 days. The second set of 100 days was to be much harder mentally as I entered a nearly 100 days of doldrums and a mental jail cell. The doldrums were as if I was a sailboat in the middle of the sea with no wind. I couldn't see the land, I was adrift and day after day it seems as though progress yielded nothing. Every day I still had to start anew with another 50k. The runs felt long and boring and many days I struggled with fatigue. </p><p>Yet, every day I found beauty in the struggle. Suffering is not without beauty. </p><p>Not a day went by when I didn't slather my feet in Aquaphor, pull on my compression socks, fold them down to my ankles, pull on a pair of bright Nike Alphafly all while sipping coffee to head out the door for 200 days in a row. For no less than an entire 50k run. Whether it was a Monday, Saturday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or I was flying to Hawaii to race the HURT 100. I ran. Often I'd get up very early so as to finish early enough to celebrate the holiday or special occasion, or to catch a plane on my way to Hawaii, or to conquer the snow or sub zero temps. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GsHpWyo1LbT5DU5FtoCs-ObnW-yUrVeeLhFSmsa7yd__2cmP1APDp4ZV6ePfy8ptW4NGCJmjAzb4tNEdAnQkB-iALSx3UF41votMSGuhRiF95KkR4EfObbck6BMwILAXGLYkcjzWLTg8Joce_YVvbwk3grhmWvinrnZ-LORGONbyGg-h_zHyJCqm/s2450/Finish%20HURT%20100%20by%20Mikey%20Brown4.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1633" data-original-width="2450" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GsHpWyo1LbT5DU5FtoCs-ObnW-yUrVeeLhFSmsa7yd__2cmP1APDp4ZV6ePfy8ptW4NGCJmjAzb4tNEdAnQkB-iALSx3UF41votMSGuhRiF95KkR4EfObbck6BMwILAXGLYkcjzWLTg8Joce_YVvbwk3grhmWvinrnZ-LORGONbyGg-h_zHyJCqm/w400-h266/Finish%20HURT%20100%20by%20Mikey%20Brown4.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Photo by Mikey Brown at the finish of the HURT 100 (day 72 ultramarathon)</div><p>On May 23, 2023 after over 6.5 months of running a daily 50k/32 miles I finally hit my mark of 200 days-- a record that beat the previous world record by 177 days. I didn't want to just get a world record, which I could've easily done and completed before the latest world record was event started (I was 40 days in when the current record of 23 days began, previous to that it was 22 days). No, setting a world record was second to my real goal. I wanted to truly test my own capabilities and set the record at a number that I believed showed both the wonderful insanity of ultra runners but also the ability we have to continue on despite anything the world, weather, and our bodies and minds toss at us. I wanted to enter the storm, revel in it, be conquered and conquer in return. I wanted all the feelings and experiences. </p><p>When I say insanity, I mean it in all the best ways. I respect, no, I deeply admire those who disregard societal norms in order to set their own bar. Or who throw away the bar and show that above a bar is a sky and above that a whole universe of possibility. Can you see that the sky is infinite? It just metamorphosis into something else as you go out farther and farther!</p><p>Day 200 marked my final 50k for the world record. 200 has a deep meaning to me. It's the distance that I have popularized in my business with <a href="https://www.destinationtrailrun.com">Destination Trail</a> having created the first three non-repetitive 200 milers in the USA. Before the Tahoe 200 in 2014, 200s were not really considered a standard distance in ultra running. But there was a hunger for them, a hunger for races that went beyond 100 miles. There were certainly races that went beyond 100 miles but you didn't see elite runners getting famous doing them (Courtney D on Joe Rogan talking about my Moab 240) or 200 milers with lottery entry processes because they are so popular. I could talk about this for quite some time, but suffice to say that 200 was the distance that I am known for and that has defined my life for the past 10 years. It is a very special number.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4pC9gvC0iCdASQIstvIJsEwZpf4buTNS6dA-DyAn1WiliHlgXIDM8oUW0maYUgPUgEmmuKJrcNwcu3uT595yVBeG7MT_T4OLwRg0mqhVfI7Amnk2JZ9NVZ8ktmk2uQlgjn3YQIes2CUVh6HY9k_LAjSi4SACYtWN_KVOPOrvyuqXGO-GM1aR9Z1yw/s5114/Race%20directing%20by%20Jason%20Peterson%201.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3409" data-original-width="5114" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4pC9gvC0iCdASQIstvIJsEwZpf4buTNS6dA-DyAn1WiliHlgXIDM8oUW0maYUgPUgEmmuKJrcNwcu3uT595yVBeG7MT_T4OLwRg0mqhVfI7Amnk2JZ9NVZ8ktmk2uQlgjn3YQIes2CUVh6HY9k_LAjSi4SACYtWN_KVOPOrvyuqXGO-GM1aR9Z1yw/w400-h266/Race%20directing%20by%20Jason%20Peterson%201.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Race directing the Tahoe 200 last year. Photo Jason Peters</div><br />What was particularly hard about stopping at 200 was that I felt really good. I had no injuries and I knew that physically I could continue. For how long? I think a very long time. However, back when I decided to go beyond 100 ultras in 100 days, I promised my family that I'd stop at 200. I promised my witnesses (for the Guinness Record) and my friends that. I promised my employees that. It was becoming increasingly important for me to get back to many of the tasks that I put aside during the streak. <p></p><p>I continued to work every day while running an ultra, but I was not able to work on the development side of my business and several events were sitting in an unfinished phase the entire time. I'm excited to complete them and offer them to the world but event creation is extremely time consuming and would require me to work on it more than full time. I'm sure no explanation is really needed to let you know why I needed to put more of my focus on my work after 200 days of ultras.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-wplqabpMYTh_22Dm1-WRgBMhkpIT8oTcul8QDTg7zpMQIjfwOUeqSAolyNo-U21no_AcLjLDk2qlSpytANyoSw-2BkyQnyBL-tfa4VuQsl3q1ht6Tb1Skbw01nCZv-19UsYkIwMOFQlbJQ_8tIaRrcsIJByN490aAL2deQMiiKV2RR2O3AKVwewn/s2669/Putting%20on%20spikes%20by%20Adam%20Eckberg.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1501" data-original-width="2669" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-wplqabpMYTh_22Dm1-WRgBMhkpIT8oTcul8QDTg7zpMQIjfwOUeqSAolyNo-U21no_AcLjLDk2qlSpytANyoSw-2BkyQnyBL-tfa4VuQsl3q1ht6Tb1Skbw01nCZv-19UsYkIwMOFQlbJQ_8tIaRrcsIJByN490aAL2deQMiiKV2RR2O3AKVwewn/w400-h225/Putting%20on%20spikes%20by%20Adam%20Eckberg.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Putting on spikes during the world record in Boulder, Colorado. Photo Adam Eckberg</i></div><p>Juggling life, work and running was the norm during the run streak, but it often felt like a few balls were being dropped at any given time. I'd finish my run, throw a massive pot of water on the stove on boil, chop onions and sauté them. Sit down briefly to remove my shoes and socks and put on a pair of crocs (my feet expanded so much none of my old shoes fit after a couple months, overall my shoe size expanded over a full size!). I'd throw on a puffy jacket as my core temp plummeted, wash my hands jump back into stirring the onions while added ground beef and spices while eating brie and cheese on plantain chips and sipping a bubbly glass of Topo Chico water. </p><p>I've learned that to achieve something big one must juggle more balls that most people think is possible. A normal comment during my world record attempt was that I must "not work" or "not have kids". Both of which I do - I do work and I do have teenagers (full time!). There was distain from those that thought I just ran all the time "get a job!" and those who thought I must not have a family "If I didn't have kids I could do that too." Disbelief: "No way she's actually running that much." And disgust, "This is mental illness." It began with "You're going to ruin your knees!" Which quickly turned into "You're going to ruin your whole body!" To: "You're going to DROP DEAD!" (Actual comments) I was called a frostbitten anorexic and told "well, maybe <i>someone</i> finds that attractive." All the while I was also met with enough disbelief that people would accuse me of making up the whole thing. We set all kinds of limits on ourselves, don't we? We make all kinds of assumptions about those achieving unusual feats around us, don't we? </p><p>These assumptions limit us. And herein lies a secret for you: Be curious, not critical. Those who condemn and criticize won't realize their own potential. These comments don't bother me or concern me. Heck, they aren't about me. They are about the limitations within other people. You have to recognize that others are going to have all kinds of opinions about you if you share yourself with the world and are doing something insane. Back to that word I love so much. Insanity that expands human potential is actually the most sane thing we humans do. </p><p>I'd planned to just cut and paste the "<a href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsnNONwgU4I/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igshid=MmJiY2I4NDBkZg==">Day 200 post</a>" for this but I began writing and wanted to reflect today, not day 200. Day 200 was still the whirlwind of the world record. The big, heavy and intense emotions of saying goodbye to my insanity for a bit. Goodbye to a daily exploration of my limits. At some point, yes, you must take break and rest to find the next insanity. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjws8ijkYheVInb76HPg8LWOjsOssbJ-4AcPzs3nbV_z9i1RSM7G98Uufq3a7YMtznz8lTL87yiK_QajxqFRgQVk0LhoerKEtVrMPTUDvmCaEKGlQtD-x8LrYUHgAWX1MnfrtRClM2oFdXFe0RlRyoaOEkIzorJ8VpMOb2RG5TbsRSSX75ngbUuXHBE/s4032/Day%20200%20finish%20by%20Jess%20Greene.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjws8ijkYheVInb76HPg8LWOjsOssbJ-4AcPzs3nbV_z9i1RSM7G98Uufq3a7YMtznz8lTL87yiK_QajxqFRgQVk0LhoerKEtVrMPTUDvmCaEKGlQtD-x8LrYUHgAWX1MnfrtRClM2oFdXFe0RlRyoaOEkIzorJ8VpMOb2RG5TbsRSSX75ngbUuXHBE/w400-h300/Day%20200%20finish%20by%20Jess%20Greene.HEIC" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My teenage daughters holding the makeshift finish tape for day 200 as I completed the final 50k of the world record. Photo Jess Greene</i></div><p>It wouldn't be right to close this post without thanking the thousands of people who inspired me before, during and after this record. I was stunned by the support from both within the trail and ultrarunning community and outside of it. In fact, I found more support from those outside the world I've lived in for so long than I did from inside of it. The encouragement and inspiration I gained daily from all of you who watched, read and commented on my posts is massive. I had so much fun sharing long posts about each day, my emotional and physical state and the beauty and hardship. Without you it not only wouldn't have been as fun to share, but I don't think I would have written so much. I have hundreds of pages in my notes -- much more than instagram would let me share in a caption. It is a gift to have written every single day although it was very difficult many days as I'd be writing at 9pm, 10pm or even at midnight when I just wanted to relax or sleep.</p><p>Hats off to you, thank you ❤️🔥 </p><p>What's next: This summer I will try to get into a 100miler, if not I may choose an FKT route to test my fitness. Next year I am going to tackle a trans-con and run across the USA! </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com57tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-19390770308581138372023-01-06T19:03:00.002-08:002023-01-06T19:18:07.214-08:00Ultramarathon Streak: I just felt like running<p>Ultramarathon Streak World Record</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUfnFhiQFNrFm09FHknHUWeF15DRGyOWgCxdZYmlMeZqN8basBKSS-LdVN_UnMDVDT4x1SeCnepoO_Ug-qfZLOIImI6JKeaV_Ea-UkVsX4EqN69jmrK2V7xNpoE6_a6ANzqhd7UK5yKhZrIpkiZQ6EEm-h80SV6y-UFFqHmoRD6ZYOgU8dXEUCQMMT/s4032/Facetune_04-01-2023-19-01-19%202.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUfnFhiQFNrFm09FHknHUWeF15DRGyOWgCxdZYmlMeZqN8basBKSS-LdVN_UnMDVDT4x1SeCnepoO_Ug-qfZLOIImI6JKeaV_Ea-UkVsX4EqN69jmrK2V7xNpoE6_a6ANzqhd7UK5yKhZrIpkiZQ6EEm-h80SV6y-UFFqHmoRD6ZYOgU8dXEUCQMMT/s320/Facetune_04-01-2023-19-01-19%202.heic" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">This post is probably long overdue. Today, the day that I write this, marks day 63 of an ultramarathon streak that I started on a bit of a whim. I didn't train for it nor did I plan for it. This may sound especially insane for most people, but I already run most days and since work would be a bit slow, it could take some of my usual work time. Little did I realize the challenges and intensity of experience that running so many hours across so much terrain would entail. Now at day 63, I am glad I didn't realize the extent of the challenge, I'd rather go in optimistic and idealistic than anxious and stressed. </span></div><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KEBlg7LcI6tjQUm4iFf2kCu0NCYDDJ1G0S1HdyhKd5duh2OvzT6AsFqOaQvI877kNE9kdx6_5B6sWcGbL17Nc2CnbqQtA9u24gAXA3hO8mLSwj75H3zt7QyTyoyElby_GHest3bkgObzVo4odwG4NVEg-WAwGkgUBDIUeawUXh3Ru33DlNtufT0r/s4032/IMG_3301.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KEBlg7LcI6tjQUm4iFf2kCu0NCYDDJ1G0S1HdyhKd5duh2OvzT6AsFqOaQvI877kNE9kdx6_5B6sWcGbL17Nc2CnbqQtA9u24gAXA3hO8mLSwj75H3zt7QyTyoyElby_GHest3bkgObzVo4odwG4NVEg-WAwGkgUBDIUeawUXh3Ru33DlNtufT0r/s320/IMG_3301.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the very rare days of shorts and tank top!</td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><b>How it started</b></p><p>I am sure that at some point over the past year or two a seed was planted that got me to where I wanted to do this streak, but I am not sure what sparked it. Perhaps it was seeing the talented and courageous Jacky Hunts-Broersma do a 104 day marathon streak in 2021 as an amputee. Or maybe it was the equally talented and courageous Alyssa Clark running a 95 day marathon streak during covid in 2020. I can't be sure because at the time of hearing about these amazing women, it did not even cross my mind that I might want to do something like this. Shout out to Alyssa who helped me prepare the week before my ultra-streak with answering a ton of my questions, giving me tips, sharing her info and verification so I could better go for the world record - thank you Alyssa, you're a star. It's very complicated to attempt a world record and without her help I would not have been sufficiently prepared. </p><p>I do think my thru hiking adventures in Arizona paved the way for me to realize I was capable of a big running streak. I've done 400 miles in 10 days and other big weeks of high volume. Thru hiking has always been especially hard for me (but I love it so much) because I have kids, dogs and a business so spending a month or two on the trails just isn't possible. This streak however, is possible for me, and allows me to still be a parent, a business owner and spend time with my dogs. </p><p><b>Fast forward to this year</b>, to late October/early November. With the final race of Destination Trail (my company) over for the year in mid-October, the Moab 240 mile Endurance Run, I was finally able to think about what I wanted to do for fun. I always like to do something adventurous on my birthday (Nov 8) and since I was in my work off season - ok still lots of work but I am my own boss so I can be flexible, I thought maybe I'd do a marathon streak. As I researched it I wondered, <i>"is there an ULTRAmarathon streak?! Because if there is that is way more up my alley." </i>Although a marathon streak would be easier and take less time, I am an Ultrarunner and the Ultra streak record needed some major updating! I wasn't doing this to do something easy anyway, so ultra streak it was.</p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0u9xAXXq08KKZAnt6RFgu7oXw0SM1wfdeJHyR4H88Apu15sBqT3s-ysnYQGvDAW74fqXy3wl3JxUb-BmDylVyRKp9lQAg6WdyMYamhxQ_xNVu5zDEbrp40Cyxa9aWX8yWIvAZNW9DXVSrfCEg-ki5n_rQMm0bZSs1KToFYUPliD7vxdRc_t_Pe_iq/s4032/IMG_3704.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0u9xAXXq08KKZAnt6RFgu7oXw0SM1wfdeJHyR4H88Apu15sBqT3s-ysnYQGvDAW74fqXy3wl3JxUb-BmDylVyRKp9lQAg6WdyMYamhxQ_xNVu5zDEbrp40Cyxa9aWX8yWIvAZNW9DXVSrfCEg-ki5n_rQMm0bZSs1KToFYUPliD7vxdRc_t_Pe_iq/s320/IMG_3704.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snow Day 50k</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Upon researching Guinness World Records I found a record of 22 days.<i> Ok,</i> I thought, <i>I think I am going to do this.</i> From the very start of my consideration process to starting the running was just over a week. Which is to say I had decided almost immediately to do it on a whim. All the best things I've done have been on a whim. I had a good feeling about this. I trust my gut and I just knew I needed to do it. </p><p>I am in the kind of running shape where I knew I could do a streak, but I didn't know for how long or if my body would hold up, after all, the last 50k I did was back in August and I don't usually do more than 5-12 miles most days. Typically I take a day or two off a week at the most but do regularly take days off and have NEVER done a significant running streak. </p><p>To my credit, I rarely get injured. I am very flexible for a runner. I used to be a massage therapist. I have been running 26 years more on then off. I knew that I would be able to problem solve my way through most issues, mental or physical. I can say now, 63 days in that not once have I wanted to quit. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PXNhzpmEO0f_78aDZaZzjEpt4EFlNW4Tiz1CkkEktJl4jkYc8qontPNOjWAnZ4DNygFtKw4S1SZfm962sDTaDF_s0ZCfNkxfEbH2T4OxfWJJDhJdOgXlJBD1lEv5E-9RYdsfa3--uKwJDEHPUjw3cZ1BQH3ML5ygYsmCc7Dfiz3nbVaTCTEMOSIY/s2282/9457564E-C25B-4D9D-B7DF-0A430CCAF63B.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2282" data-original-width="1284" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PXNhzpmEO0f_78aDZaZzjEpt4EFlNW4Tiz1CkkEktJl4jkYc8qontPNOjWAnZ4DNygFtKw4S1SZfm962sDTaDF_s0ZCfNkxfEbH2T4OxfWJJDhJdOgXlJBD1lEv5E-9RYdsfa3--uKwJDEHPUjw3cZ1BQH3ML5ygYsmCc7Dfiz3nbVaTCTEMOSIY/s320/9457564E-C25B-4D9D-B7DF-0A430CCAF63B.JPG" width="180" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p><b>How long to streak for?</b></p><p>From the very start of considering the streak I just wanted to be open to doing it for as long as my body would hold up. I wasn't sure if that would even be the record-breaking 23 days, but I wanted to try. In my head, my goal was MUCH, MUCH bigger than 23. I knew I'd be disappointed if I didn't get as far as the marathon streaks, which at the time were around 100 (a bit more) and currently there is a woman who is planning 150 in Australia. </p><p>Most of all though I wanted to do this level of running, this insane volume, to satiate my curiosity. See what I was capable of. See how my body adapts. Or if it can adapt. At the time of starting I had to stay very focused on the 23 day goal as thinking too "big picture" could be overwhelming. My next goal was (is) making it to the HURT 100 miler, which is next week as I write this, Jan 14-15 (day 71-72 of the ultra streak) and then hopefully refocus my goal farther. </p><p><b>Here is some info on the record and rules as well as some facts about the streak thus far:</b></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I started on Nov 5, 2022</li><li>I've run well over a 50k (min 31.06 miles) every single day beginning on Nov 5, 2022 until current day</li><li>No days off</li><li>All runs are done at once, not broken up throughout the day</li><li>All runs are done outdoors and no treadmill or mechanical equipment is used</li><li>Verification will be submitted to Guinness World Records upon completion of final day</li><li>Verification follows all Guinness World Record requirements as outlined in their handbook and material for this specific record, defined as: Most Consecutive Days Ultramarathon Runs"</li><li>I officially applied for the Ultramarathon Consecutive Days Runs record before beginning the streak</li><li>Current verified record is now 11 days held by Katie Spotz as of the day of this writing as the 22 day record that was in place when I began was changed mid-attempt (my attempt) to a non-binary record. I surpassed both those records in November. </li><li>Runs are mapped and recorded on two GPS calibrated devices and runs are no less than 31.5 miles, most being 31.6-32 miles </li><li>Runs must start and end on the same day and rest breaks are recorded and governed by Guinness Records so as to not "break the run up" throughout the day. Runs are timed start to finish with watch time running without being stopped the entire run </li><li>Runs for me typically take 5-7hrs at an "easy pace" depending on weather/temperature, route, amount or presence of snow and ice, inches of snow, energy levels and pain/injury. For example, we have gotten 12 inches of snow for some days, others we had negative temperatures (-15F). I run no matter the conditions so it does take more time some days. Typically snow days are up to an hour slower as there is often significant ice and snow to run through. I have had some days with more extreme pain that were also slower. Thankfully, those days are over and runs are more predicable now. I have gotten faster overall - my easy is now an hour faster than it was when I started.</li><li>Injuries: I have had a number of issues, none of which have stopped me yet. I have been able to treat and even fix most the issues that have come up. Others have improved but not gone away. I have had extreme bilateral shin pain, achilles tendonitis, back of the knee immobility and pain, hallux limitus and accompanying swelling and sensitivity, back and shoulder pain, osteitis pubis (pubic symphysis pain). Various tendonitis issues in the legs. I think that's about it. My body has shown great resilience and strength overcoming most of these issues, but I still have to work on them daily to make sure they stay under control. Some days I spend an hour or more stretching and rolling/massage, however I am happy to report as of this writing that PT and massage is being required less than it was just a week ago.</li><li>I am balancing work (running a business), caring for my children (teenagers, makes it easier!) and playing with my pups with doing a 50k every day. There's not much time for anything other than work-kids-50ks right now, but my daughter has joined me for the end of the 50ks from time to time and my dogs regularly do the first 5-10 miles with me - depending on the conditions</li><li>I do 31.5-32 miles a day /224ish miles a week /992ish miles a month that's about 45 hrs of running a week </li><li>I'm running in Boulder, Colorado at 5,400ft. This time of year temperatures range from low single digits to 40s/50s F but seem to typically be 20s-30s F. During my streak, I have seen temps -15F to 60s. </li><li>I mostly use the Nike Alphafly Next% road shoes, and alternate between 5 diff pairs. I have also used Altra torin and Altra lone peak on trails but they don't provide enough cushion for me for 224 miles a week</li><li>I have no idea how many calories I consume or burn. I just try to eat a lot. I have breakfast and coffee in the AM. I eat a few items on the run and drink 40-50oz water and/or coffee (love grabbing a mocha along the run). Remember it's quite cold in CO so I don't sweat much. I eat a snack after the run, then a big dinner and try to have another snack before bed. I do not follow a specific diet. I do eat meat. My fav meal is rare steak, vegetables and rice. I prefer not to eat processed food. I like fatty food more than sweet food. I like all foods!</li><li>I think I have lost 10-15 pounds in the first month of doing this. My weight seems to be more stable but has fallen bit over the past few weeks, but very slowly. I think it is still leveling off. I do not know my starting weight, so I cannot be sure about exact weight loss since start. I have started weighing myself lately. I can tell about the weight loss visually and can feel my bones more. My energy levels are great and I still have a regular period. </li><li>"How long do I plan to go?" is a non stop question and I will not answer it because I have not decided and I do not want to answer it yet. I want to take one day at a time. I cannot go forever as I am sacrificing many aspects of life to do this, however I really love my runs and know I will miss them when I am done. I can see now that it is possible perhaps for some people, perhaps even myself, to do a streak like this for quite a lot longer than I thought previously possible... if one is willing to put aside the time. Once I reach my final goal, I may have to acknowledge that I seem to be able to go on forever but must quit so as to make room for a more balanced life. I hope to quit on my own terms like this - not out of injury. And hopefully at a number that I can be proud of (and 63 is not it!)</li></ul><div>Thank you for reading, I am grateful to share the journey, for the ability to run and to explore my inner world through my outer world adventures. May you too have such incredible journeys! You can follow my on Instagram @runcandicerun twitter at @runcandice and TikTok at @runcandicerun where I mostly post daily updates. </div><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNFCz3gmgLcoH7y5rQLPce8tYxAGzwm636OiRzgh5WQ5ck7Jfziqs0IBbqnac_LPlq0m4r273qN3WWFFelabY28jEsAsheko7ne3tyVDJeRzFIlihzXIBRw1OLJJON7jLLpjU2EW2n2FLraazg0vt4tbi6NZBjANDLpAd8mM5rSe9KCSbGBRxcXyu/s4032/IMG_5559.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZNFCz3gmgLcoH7y5rQLPce8tYxAGzwm636OiRzgh5WQ5ck7Jfziqs0IBbqnac_LPlq0m4r273qN3WWFFelabY28jEsAsheko7ne3tyVDJeRzFIlihzXIBRw1OLJJON7jLLpjU2EW2n2FLraazg0vt4tbi6NZBjANDLpAd8mM5rSe9KCSbGBRxcXyu/s320/IMG_5559.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favorite "trails" on my daily route</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzVwAT9ftjwyCWCQTYvBTwXFY9hKddtJuGMMl6HHyw8yMIAqCAbJP3wu1md-6XEUHqDuXI0XeG2XWCKBObjTw5j51VoZl4eh-kXXDWrkLPSyNqllI7qSdPEwtfOr0ugIfSBkyyVg8mhffdrO2k_Tg8DtVyVYMoT400Xq0czbjc0jNHJzHzGyQNxHFw/s4032/Facetune_05-01-2023-09-57-10.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzVwAT9ftjwyCWCQTYvBTwXFY9hKddtJuGMMl6HHyw8yMIAqCAbJP3wu1md-6XEUHqDuXI0XeG2XWCKBObjTw5j51VoZl4eh-kXXDWrkLPSyNqllI7qSdPEwtfOr0ugIfSBkyyVg8mhffdrO2k_Tg8DtVyVYMoT400Xq0czbjc0jNHJzHzGyQNxHFw/s320/Facetune_05-01-2023-09-57-10.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKifCPFjZoxcHBs0RPeut35ON8llTN_0cASfhrP-sAYxsDm8VCL377kprrAWlB7b6UA2r6JUAwpdn6r641TohOnsWoXFq083QWVi9b8BjStnsAArvf75SNeRPndkpsPYLZcvaXoaPwKikfgmf0U3piSgg9V-5L9UktY3S9lbEFiNrkz8lv1vMMHN_9/s4032/IMG_0295.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKifCPFjZoxcHBs0RPeut35ON8llTN_0cASfhrP-sAYxsDm8VCL377kprrAWlB7b6UA2r6JUAwpdn6r641TohOnsWoXFq083QWVi9b8BjStnsAArvf75SNeRPndkpsPYLZcvaXoaPwKikfgmf0U3piSgg9V-5L9UktY3S9lbEFiNrkz8lv1vMMHN_9/s320/IMG_0295.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHlDvrrzERTDBiloBYPXsnMLggLkEVo9g2QpCAKlZGQY1jCj8qe4Vb3P-kt6QVNhi1eOmJKmq-qtrKB8pDOIJW5juBomnBbvhBdUsti1L1CPcji9ytuUkcR2EGHQtGfi0vEwIYy2D7q5yyPoR8l-UCoY9cYqIFAxnhJuZA81V0IBpvAfVQCr9lMol6/s4032/IMG_3527.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHlDvrrzERTDBiloBYPXsnMLggLkEVo9g2QpCAKlZGQY1jCj8qe4Vb3P-kt6QVNhi1eOmJKmq-qtrKB8pDOIJW5juBomnBbvhBdUsti1L1CPcji9ytuUkcR2EGHQtGfi0vEwIYy2D7q5yyPoR8l-UCoY9cYqIFAxnhJuZA81V0IBpvAfVQCr9lMol6/s320/IMG_3527.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCR2tlsbi9-oT86QBhdjNqZ7RCNZrl7IIi1FPYud4MtWlL7ZWODNphmN23O4p5zcJ3tzswsl9Y1Ry6rX-kDVlZVY__Lni36UUEKSjJZDzI8B0aRgxmcvodyWwqnwaRuZqXzyMtApdel73flIs-7fks90Oeh7DYKuV-Kl08EZi78zeBIyqLZ5-UJUtd/s4032/IMG_8249.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCR2tlsbi9-oT86QBhdjNqZ7RCNZrl7IIi1FPYud4MtWlL7ZWODNphmN23O4p5zcJ3tzswsl9Y1Ry6rX-kDVlZVY__Lni36UUEKSjJZDzI8B0aRgxmcvodyWwqnwaRuZqXzyMtApdel73flIs-7fks90Oeh7DYKuV-Kl08EZi78zeBIyqLZ5-UJUtd/s320/IMG_8249.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgczKX1Bls5NsukzK9w7Rgn6V5FoHo4g18L3_3BXFIcmgWs9eiRqyGNzrXSCTqXoB5FX2Ly6IOa7KeheQElIrqJd8zftxlDCTpD4GTkJklhm7UvSQBJRyTSybIK5vcdXSQw8oxXLI5dQ1gzklfYDzYfMtufgyEeuikm0I5YovHF5oVh6G7BRKMtgHRn/s4032/IMG_9774.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgczKX1Bls5NsukzK9w7Rgn6V5FoHo4g18L3_3BXFIcmgWs9eiRqyGNzrXSCTqXoB5FX2Ly6IOa7KeheQElIrqJd8zftxlDCTpD4GTkJklhm7UvSQBJRyTSybIK5vcdXSQw8oxXLI5dQ1gzklfYDzYfMtufgyEeuikm0I5YovHF5oVh6G7BRKMtgHRn/s320/IMG_9774.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-16525251249707319732022-05-03T12:14:00.007-07:002022-05-03T12:14:51.647-07:00Something Altogether Different<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwxpAn5CA8W4vzdV5fpPP9ZpCFiqqdLgDsDOSN-Y8FexP-ChNZ0R9ZMV33dryryCSSutVTu-7Rkvw1XHDfu5ZzyREhm_Fj0MjK5HDAzXVSKuvII-f6FH9XAGXc6JShhn-8iJCzhfbnggttbIm9Q7apBKPkmPX5ldxYWiM327rSg3rBy87N4qnznWFV/s1800/277565518_547852476696937_7654328463082097680_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1800" data-original-width="1440" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwxpAn5CA8W4vzdV5fpPP9ZpCFiqqdLgDsDOSN-Y8FexP-ChNZ0R9ZMV33dryryCSSutVTu-7Rkvw1XHDfu5ZzyREhm_Fj0MjK5HDAzXVSKuvII-f6FH9XAGXc6JShhn-8iJCzhfbnggttbIm9Q7apBKPkmPX5ldxYWiM327rSg3rBy87N4qnznWFV/w320-h400/277565518_547852476696937_7654328463082097680_n.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">There’s a point at which you cross the threshold of day and night becomes inevitable. The weary hiker at this time begins to set up his tent, makes an evening meal and watches the sun paint the sky. The sun is nothing if not an artist and at first she paints with yellows, reds and oranges as though it’s not truly a goodbye, and then with darker blues and purples.</span></p><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">By now the hiker is in his sleeping bag, insulated from the cold night and safe from the monsters of the mind that make themselves at home in the dark blanket of night. The hiker knows that night doesn’t play by the rules of the day, that even the normal shapes of the land and terrain change and a new, blurry, dark world comes to life:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Glowing eyes peering out from the hillside, a screech of a wildcat from a rocky outcropping, a rocky trail that weaves in and out of a riverbed so feverishly that the water is dried up and all that’s left is heavy sand and if you’re lucky a cairn or two to mark the way. A trail barely etched in the mountain, one side falling dangerously into an inky blackness.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">At night getting lost or hurt is as real of a danger as the wild, stealth hunters who prowl these forests and hillsides. At night is when the hiker knows he’s no longer the most dangerous animal, he’s just a nearly blind, stumbling and almost hairless creature that must sleep, a creature who has little protection from the harsh world of the night.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I look longingly at a tent, the hiker inside surely sleeping peacefully, as my legs continue their rhythm of forward and upward progression. I’m not a hiker really, and I’m not one of the wild beasts of the night— I’m something altogether different and I move quietly through the night and up the mountain. For me the night is peace. It’s quiet. Pierced by howls and crackle-snaps—- what’s out there? I don’t know, but I am okay in the unknown, I’ve learned that’s where dreams are born. It’s a world I must explore, plus I have 20 more miles to go before the night overtakes me</span><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjuvU8_RqkkD-n0AqTsKWeX8nnwt7XsoPPFqNFftpuS8plSrwlNZhIyVDx1pRcmlxCZeIJ-0bRA9WTS_n6kBGPFIZ58MTDHiPtXlCVWgAz2OPI8wWvFA3i2_vXoqXNVGBX3lTwbqqiCPbcGzdKSvD8RnA1Pqi3l0AeD20KeTivuiZvkmw_LUO95Y_J/s1800/277677243_547852606696924_2854258074397555956_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1800" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjuvU8_RqkkD-n0AqTsKWeX8nnwt7XsoPPFqNFftpuS8plSrwlNZhIyVDx1pRcmlxCZeIJ-0bRA9WTS_n6kBGPFIZ58MTDHiPtXlCVWgAz2OPI8wWvFA3i2_vXoqXNVGBX3lTwbqqiCPbcGzdKSvD8RnA1Pqi3l0AeD20KeTivuiZvkmw_LUO95Y_J/s320/277677243_547852606696924_2854258074397555956_n.jpeg" width="256" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKgmClTdvOuO7QtO1rmmLl5CXxfT932k0CySMlUdwH1kIy32SED23mUYRJ9Pyyu3LZwKdnv-S1mmCr7iD1qQvTxOJv6MFVvcaKG5XK8YOq8cjggc1McmFZnN5jeSSGvkSSSIiSijZUk_8PqePxvpb2iGugNAgaw263glVVXriJ2DMv0zmx5zTCADdN/s1800/277566005_547852620030256_2463166311575372695_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1800" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKgmClTdvOuO7QtO1rmmLl5CXxfT932k0CySMlUdwH1kIy32SED23mUYRJ9Pyyu3LZwKdnv-S1mmCr7iD1qQvTxOJv6MFVvcaKG5XK8YOq8cjggc1McmFZnN5jeSSGvkSSSIiSijZUk_8PqePxvpb2iGugNAgaw263glVVXriJ2DMv0zmx5zTCADdN/s320/277566005_547852620030256_2463166311575372695_n.jpeg" width="256" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, "system-ui", "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-43421714418839780382021-03-08T12:53:00.002-08:002021-03-08T12:53:12.054-08:00 Your Kind of Love is Dangerous<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Your Kind of Love is Dangerous</span></p><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I can’t get enough of you</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Each evening you take off your blues and grays,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Revealing deep purples, pinks, yellows</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">At dusk I am briefly embraced by your colors</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">At your most beautiful, you fade quickly</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">to cold darkness and I’m alone,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">making me realize I was alone all along</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I bring my own light for these runs,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Even on your darkest night</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I can find my way, my feet hitting trails</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Surrounded by mysterious darkness,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Everything is gray in absence of your light.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I run all night until you’re back in your sweet yellows and oranges, turning to blue as sunrise ends.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I cannot look at you you’re so bright,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">but it’s impossible not to know you’re here.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Your light warms up all the dark, cold corners of the earth, warming my heart through my black tank top as I sit on my deck looking up occasionally to see your vibrant colors and reading Nietzsche:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“Independence is for the very few; it is a privilege of the strong”</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The desert can be a brutal place, it’s where you like to reside. Everyone around you has to carefully adapt to survive your heat or die trying.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The Saguaro cactus grows abundantly</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">but slowly in your light. It is covered with hard spines and flexible bristles as a method of defending the water stored inside.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I’m like the Saguaro thriving in the toughest</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">of climates and terrain, choosing the difficult over the easy.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">There is no reward in taking an easy path,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Only the difficult path will give you the fiercest sunsets and the darkest, coldest nights.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The morning is still young and I finish my coffee</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">with Nietzsche, having lost my spot I reread:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“Independence is for the very few; it is a privilege of the strong. And whoever attempts it even with the best right but without inner constraint proves that he is probably not only strong, but also daring to the point of recklessness”</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">[Poem “Your Kind of Love is Dangerous” written by me on 1/18/21, Nietzsche quote in this poem from his book “Beyond Good & Evil” translated by Walter Kaufmann]</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-73272014430701688062021-03-08T12:50:00.006-08:002021-03-09T09:03:36.146-08:00Your Light & Dark<p><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">In the evenings I run through the desert’s mountains, s</span><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">weat on my bare skin glowing yellow and red in the disappearing light, mirroring the vibrant colors of a disrobing sky. How is it that as the sun exits it seems even stronger through its stunning curtain call?</span></p><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">It feels like such an intimate few minutes before the sun says goodbye. The colors are so deep and intense that they penetrate through me, warming my heart and leaving me excited, even though I know this means goodbye.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">I’ve been running but I stop to admire the view, my arms in the air as though I can embrace the whole sky, then hands into a prayer and a bow toward the sun, reverence for the unknown and a deep gratitude for here & now, for you.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">My moment of reverence and I’m back to running, it will be dark soon. My heart is beating hard</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">as the trail climbs upward leading to a place I want to explore. It’s getting dark (absent of light?) and I miss the light, feeling melancholy as I pull out my running belt and light and a jacket it’s almost too dark to run without it.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">Thinking about how I already miss the light and sun, miss the color and it hits me that maybe the light is the dark, and the dark is the light because without one, the other does not exist 💫</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-78847336407946124742020-07-08T11:57:00.001-07:002020-07-08T11:57:35.395-07:00Unsupported FKT on the Tahoe Rim TrailHi there! I submitted my FKT today for the 170.8 mile Tahoe Rim Trail. I wanted to share my trip report (brief version) as I submitted the the FKT site. I'll post a longer version soon, but for now here are the basic details. Note: My first attempt on the TRT was in 2012 and supported. I quit about 110 miles in. I made two other attempts, both unsupported. One one attempt I quit 70 miles in and on the more recent I finished in 72hrs and 21 minutes but due to intense hallucinations just 10 miles from finishing I made a call for help to a friend. This call - even though I went on to finish negated my "unsupported" attempt. I was ok with this because I was convinced I was too slow anyway. Here's my successful unsupported bid:<br />
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I started the Tahoe Rim Trail on July 4 at 10:23am from Tahoe City going clockwise with the goal of sub 60 hours, ended up just missing that and finished in 60:47:34. I ran completely unsupported and unaccompanied. I carried all my own gear, food and even returned with all my trash! </div>
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I only refilled water from streams. The longest sections with no water resupply was from Mt Rose to Kingsbury where the trail crosses the river I think about 2.5-3 miles before the turn off to Heavenly Stagecoach lodge area - did that section with just 3L of water because I didn't want to trek down to Spooner lake and add the extra time. It was about 38 miles. Got kinda thirsty. </div>
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I tried to sleep briefly three times but was unable to fall asleep. I propped my legs up and tried to relax knowing that just a bit of time would be helpful in resetting my eyes and body. Ultimately just laid there for 15-30 mins each time and resumed my run actually feeling better and being able to increase my speed each time so I think the laying down was very helpful even without sleep. All in all I slept zero in those 60hr 47min 34sec and it really began affecting my mental state making it more difficult, especially at night, to navigate with all the hallucinations. </div>
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I would constantly question whether I was just running in circles and at Echo Summit almost got really turned around thinking I'd already passed the summit when I still had not arrived. I had to pay very close attention and remind myself that what I was seeing was not real. At night everything became something else and inanimate objects moved and became alive. Having dealt with hallucinations on 200s milers and last time I ran the TRT unsupported (in Nov 2019) I knew to not focus too much on these fantastical, scary and disorienting visions. </div>
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I carried about 11,500 calories and only consumed 7,000. I got blisters from pretty early on that became pretty horrible just 40 miles from the finish. I took off my socks and that helped the pain a bit on the bottoms of my feet but caused more to form around the sides of my feet. I never get blisters and so I did not bring anything to cover them with. Won't make that mistake again! </div>
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I ran the last 16 miles the fastest of the entire route really hoping to get just under 60 hours but even with running almost every step I missed the 60 hours in large part because it got dark and I began having some trouble navigating. All said and done, I moved almost non stop for all those 60:47 hours finishing at 11:10:34 pm in Tahoe City on July 6th to many hallucinations, my car, and went to sleep without any fanfare- typical unsupported run! I tracked on my coros watch, strava and with my spot beacon. </div>
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I shared my SPOT tracking link with my family (kids), a few of my friends: Garrett Froelich ad Mike Tebbutt (locals) who tracked me during those 2.5 days.</div>
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SPOT beacon: <a href="https://share.garmin.com/RunCandiceRun">https://share.garmin.com/RunCandiceRun</a></div>
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Strava first 3/4 run: <a href="https://www.strava.com/activities/3730179993">https://www.strava.com/activities/3730179993</a></div>
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Strava last 33 miles: <a href="https://www.strava.com/activities/3725768521/overview">https://www.strava.com/activities/3725768521/overview</a></div>
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<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="405" scrolling="no" src="https://www.strava.com/activities/3730179993/embed/469701d969a34afa94125e13fe8b683de517c2ec" width="590"></iframe>
<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="405" scrolling="no" src="https://www.strava.com/activities/3725768521/embed/ea8a3d5ba588108f325f95d8845b1ab78fdb7a24" width="590"></iframe>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-88801026636502176742020-05-17T23:52:00.000-07:002020-05-18T00:47:05.524-07:00Someone Somewhere<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZu9Y8suqVCvh-rJp41Od7BmHLXOwUyT0AUe-o-Dns7SrdgS0iuHYu65ogdoshwzi3lnLVLdiUQsPAInyMlPd_PJREaPRAtPfhBQX_WULRV99D_KP8D18T89r7Daz_8m6IdcL2TgZTvTo/s1600/D7ED3AFF-80CB-4317-AADD-23CBA4F18D4A_1_201_a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZu9Y8suqVCvh-rJp41Od7BmHLXOwUyT0AUe-o-Dns7SrdgS0iuHYu65ogdoshwzi3lnLVLdiUQsPAInyMlPd_PJREaPRAtPfhBQX_WULRV99D_KP8D18T89r7Daz_8m6IdcL2TgZTvTo/s320/D7ED3AFF-80CB-4317-AADD-23CBA4F18D4A_1_201_a.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Right now you can break the law by running on some trails.<br />
Everything is closed, but I'm trying to keep my heart open.<br />
People can report each other for going to work,<br />
there's an online site you can do that from in my town.<br />
<br />
Yesterday I went on a run and the touchscreen on my phone stopped working<br />
but just the top 1/3 of it. The bottom 2/3 works just fine.<br />
It's surprising how hard it is to use your phone when you can't go back<br />
on any screen because the back button is in the top 1/3.<br />
I wish we could go back to when we didn't hate each other.<br />
But we are frozen like my screen.<br />
<br />
Someone somewhere decides what is right and what is wrong.<br />
"You don't need to think, just listen" they say.<br />
Yesterday you were my friend, today you are my enemy I'm told.<br />
You just want to know what side I am on so you can hate me.<br />
You're like my phone, part of you is stuck and isn't working right and you know it.<br />
<br />
I understand you because I, too, wanted to believe that someone somewhere<br />
is doing what is right for me. I stopped believing there was someone<br />
that would protect me when I was 8 years old. It was a hard choice,<br />
but I decided to think, not just listen.<br />
<br />
I cannot see my enemy, I'm told it's too small.<br />
I'm checking out groceries at the store and all the clerks have masks.<br />
My clerk has her mask over her mouth, but her nose is out.<br />
She holds the side of the mask as she talks to me,<br />
pulling down the side enough that I can see her lips.<br />
<br />
We talk about anything but the enemy we cannot see.<br />
Everything I do causes some anxiety:<br />
touching the counter, oh shit.<br />
Touching my phone, oh shit.<br />
Standing at the counter I feel out of my body,<br />
like the top 1/3 isn't working right.<br />
Am I getting sick?<br />
<br />
My daddy is gone, but he's not dead.<br />
I gave up believing I could be protected way before he left.<br />
It was a hard choice, but I decided to think not just listen.<br />
<br />
Your clothes, beliefs, and hate make you feel protected<br />
So you can forget that you are naked under all these layers<br />
You can forget that you are human behind a glowing screen<br />
Forget that you will die<br />
<br />
You're like my phone,<br />
part of you is stuck and isn't working right and you know it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-21217896333721244212020-04-18T22:27:00.002-07:002020-04-18T22:27:43.372-07:00Using Love to Fight Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0lJ7lnOf16eH1DXuiKUP35Uo2v43XXZYRSpddHutkaRwXQUj8NZWiLyPo45yyPR9dl7EbQ0GMxFLrPy3tH6ekGV5B5rl-RUK-QFzqW-2VMINPvKZngIC_-V43VchGx1inNfbKN2Wzuwc/s1600/F5663631-F498-4B2F-8C2C-BB0F1DFCE387+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="1125" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0lJ7lnOf16eH1DXuiKUP35Uo2v43XXZYRSpddHutkaRwXQUj8NZWiLyPo45yyPR9dl7EbQ0GMxFLrPy3tH6ekGV5B5rl-RUK-QFzqW-2VMINPvKZngIC_-V43VchGx1inNfbKN2Wzuwc/s320/F5663631-F498-4B2F-8C2C-BB0F1DFCE387+2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I woke up this morning glad that the nightmare was a dream— the fear and emotions still so real that I knew my body didn’t know the difference between dream and reality, at least during those moments of sleep.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I’d been curled in a corner with a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex looming over me like a scene in Jurassic Park. No matter how fantastical it sounds, in the dream I was being pursued by a very real and threatening dinosaur.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My family, friends and I had scattered just moments before this monstrous reptile arrived, hoping to hide. We were told, in the mysterious way we learn things in dreams but can’t remember once we are awake, that the only way that the T-Rex wouldn’t see (and eat) us was if we were able to successfully visualize love.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It wasn’t explained how this worked exactly, but I knew from my visualization work that it must be FELT to be a successful visualization. Felt in a way that our body recognizes the visualization as something we are currently experiencing.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So with all my might and mental power I threw myself into that feeling of love: the compassion, the empathy, the feeling of being warm no matter the weather or temperature. The fierce love, the gentle and kind love. A mother’s love, a partner’s love, the love of someone who recognizes that we are all interconnected.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">All the while knowing that fear, a giant capital letter FEAR — embodied by the nightmarish T-Rex, was looming just outside my visual orbit of love ready to eat me if I faltered.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">In my dream I KNEW that love was the only way to survive this scary creature. Waking up, there was no T-Rex smashing its teeth and ferociously hovering above me, but the metaphor wasn’t lost on me.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">💖> 🦖</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-63390178316798053322020-04-18T21:49:00.000-07:002020-04-18T22:19:50.721-07:00You want too much<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAjMggtRICgKMPsW4DV1NL2Eu6L6scOX-OyP411vFdu1zaqrjhrmjSp3AOwJh2znP-kicUBqW0ln6hsBFRQyTjImBSJoHHyatH32hreZklkxGbbdE3-TG9680nhkIci4ljYhrgY3NIZwg/s1600/02C683DF-FCD7-41DA-AE41-E8836B4C11A1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1311" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAjMggtRICgKMPsW4DV1NL2Eu6L6scOX-OyP411vFdu1zaqrjhrmjSp3AOwJh2znP-kicUBqW0ln6hsBFRQyTjImBSJoHHyatH32hreZklkxGbbdE3-TG9680nhkIci4ljYhrgY3NIZwg/s320/02C683DF-FCD7-41DA-AE41-E8836B4C11A1.JPG" width="260" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You want too much.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You want beauty and grit.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You want flaws with perfection.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You want to love me and hate me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You want me without having all of me.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Give me a moment while I find the right face to put on today. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Fumbling through my cabinet for my makeup, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">the fake wood peeling at the corner of the mirror frowns at me.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I shake the bottle of foundation, its purpose to even skin tone, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">but it’s only skin deep. My bare fingers spread it over freckles </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">and lines and follow the path of tears. A little under the eyes. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Dab, dab dab, smooth.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I’m thinking about how someone told me to “just be positive” </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">in response to a difficult story I shared. Just be positive. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">We don’t need anything negative. Take your stories and cover them up with paint. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Don't you know that too much paint ruins a picture? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Dab, dab dab. Smooth.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Your troubles, judgements, opinions, stories, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">your difficult, dirty, sad, messed up life doesn’t belong here. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Make us happy. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Dab, dab dab. Smooth.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It’s time for bed but instead of sleeping </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I’m lying on my jungle comforter, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">reading my unfinished poem not sure how it will end. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Do people understand the power of metaphors? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Do they understand you can’t have it all without it all?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The creek outside babbles to the rocks</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> as it flows through my backyard. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The frogs chime in and it reminds me of nights </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">sleeping under the stars as a child.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I get out of bed and follow the sound of the creek, mesmerized. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The path is full of rocks and the climbs are so steep I must crawl: </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">head down, hands and feet pressing into the earth, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">heart pumping into the darkness. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I should’ve brought a light.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">With my head down I don’t realize I’m at the top </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">until I come to a sudden stop, toes hanging over a cliff. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The stars poke holes in the night’s blanket of darkness </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">like a million leaks sprung and flowing onto the earth. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Was the universe flowing to the earth the sound of the creek I heard from bed?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My breath catches in my chest, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">not from fear of falling but from the awe-struck moment: </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">the vast expanse in front of me, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">limitless but for my body — </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">a body that obeys the laws of physics and gravity.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-33542098540174061682020-03-10T17:44:00.003-07:002020-03-14T20:57:49.275-07:00Live Tracking for my 800mile Arizona Trail Speed Attempt<span style="color: red;"><u><b>UPDATE:</b></u> second update!! We ARE starting on March 15 after all! All gear, crew organized and we will be beginning Sunday morning. Previously posted that we are starting on the 16 but we’re able to get prepared for storm/mud/etc so we are starting on 15 after all. </span><span style="color: red;">You can follow updates on social media by going to: @runcandicerun (link below in bullet points)</span><br />
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Live tracking of my Arizona Trail Speed attempt <b>beginning March 15!</b><br />
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<b>A few notes about my record attempt:</b><br />
<ul>
<li>I begin on March 15 at the Mexico/AZ border</li>
<li>I am going South to North</li>
<li>I plan to do over 60 miles a day</li>
<li>I am running supported with a crew</li>
<li>I aim to finish in under 14 days to best all current records on the trail male or female</li>
<li>You can view current records <a href="https://fastestknowntime.com/route/arizona-trail-az">here</a></li>
<li>I am fundraising for Girls on the Run in AZ. You can <a href="https://www.gotrmc.org/Fundraiser/800-Mile-Arizona-Trail-Fastest-Known-Time">donate here</a> for Girls on the Run. Also consider donating to the <a href="https://aztrail.org/get-involved/donate/">Arizona Trail Association</a>! You can <a href="https://aztrail.org/get-involved/donate/">donate to the trails here</a>. </li>
<li>Follow updates and posts on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/runcandicerun/">my IG page here</a>.</li>
</ul>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="650" scrolling="no" src="https://trackleaders.com/aztfkt20f.php" width="800"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-57835205885325945062020-02-24T16:47:00.002-08:002021-11-12T12:56:59.478-08:00Take 2: Running the Arizona Trail for Girls on the Run<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">It's on! It's been a year since an injury sidelined me and kept me from running the Arizona Trail speed attempt I had painstakingly planned out. Looking back I can see how difficult it was to shelf my goal for so long, but in the grand scheme of life, waiting a year is nothing.</span></div>
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Take 2: Arizona Trail 2020<br />
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I will begin my speed attempt on the Arizona Trail beginning March 15. My aim will be to finish in fewer than 14 days.<br />
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Route:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> 800 mile Arizona Trail</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span face=""roboto" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The Arizona National Scenic Trail is a National Scenic Trail from Mexico to Utah that traverses the whole </span><br />
<span face=""roboto" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">north–south length of the U.S. state of Arizona. The trail begins at the Coronado National Memorial near </span><br />
<span face=""roboto" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the US–Mexico border and moves north through parts of the Huachuca, Santa Rita, and Rincon Mountains.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Crew/Pacers </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Crew Chief, Social Media Wiz: Catra Corbett</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Photography Crew: Dave Wiskoski, Adam Eckberg</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Videography Crew: Adam Eckberg, GoPro</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Additional Pacing/Crew: Harald Zundel</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Pacing: All Crew members</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Goal:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> 12-14 days (58+ miles per day, goal: 62+). Goal is to run the route faster than any of the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">supported or unsupported records, men or women which would be anything under 14 days, 12 hours.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Current FKT records (overall fastest times):</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Supported, Men: Michael Versteeg 15 days, 22hrs, 39 minutes</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Supported, Women: Helen Galerakis 17days, 11 hours, 3 min</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Self Supported, Men: Josh Perry 14 days, 12 hours, 21 minutes</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Start Date:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><strike> </strike> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">March 15 2020</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Goal Finish Date (12-13days):</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> March 26-27, 2020</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Live Tracking via Trackleaders/SPOT tracking:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> Link coming</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Charity: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">This speed attempt will be an effort to raise money for Girls on the Run in Arizona, a </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">program that gives young girls after school running opportunities including coaching and working </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">toward a 5k. Our donations will help cover the charities costs and provide scholarships for girls </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">that cannot afford the program. It is our hope that this FKT attempt can bring more attention and </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">support to Girls on the Run programs! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Official Charity FKT Page/Donations can be made here: </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.gotrmc.org/Fundraiser/800-Mile-Arizona-Trail-Fastest-Known-Time" style="text-decoration-line: none;">https://www.gotrmc.org/Fundraiser/800-Mile-Arizona-Trail-Fastest-Known-Time</a></span><br />
**Link to donate is not active, we are working on it sorry for the delay, please check back!<br />
<br />
<b>Sponsor Opportunities:</b><br />
Interested in becoming a sponsor to help cover our costs and get some exposure for your business? Please contact Candice at: runcandicerun@gmail.com and THANK YOU!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-79978684135588078612020-01-26T20:52:00.002-08:002020-01-26T20:52:11.282-08:00Running between Dark and Light<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigMyJtVTIEYZ-ZO0EXSIE9dvyZMGFGHrJhzzpWnDQ_eit32ZmOjMap75M06YwtXz9Oi0ClM1eHlvOlXrB-vGoVWG9QZirOt9pInpLVAAlWdtNwVI862Vm6wLrdbVpL9ogGo7UFThnYs3g/s1600/83010097_2756781804357767_8131981741263945728_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigMyJtVTIEYZ-ZO0EXSIE9dvyZMGFGHrJhzzpWnDQ_eit32ZmOjMap75M06YwtXz9Oi0ClM1eHlvOlXrB-vGoVWG9QZirOt9pInpLVAAlWdtNwVI862Vm6wLrdbVpL9ogGo7UFThnYs3g/s320/83010097_2756781804357767_8131981741263945728_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by Paul Smith</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Let me lead the way because I understand the dark:<br />
How light and dark enhance each other, how they need each other to exist. How easy it is to lose your footing, how quickly the ground will pull you down. I’ll show you how to get back up fast before it buries you. Let me lead the way.<br />
<br />
I’m breathing the mountain: hands on quads, pressing my legs hard into Hogs Back, the rough, rocky and steep ascent leading up the first climb of this 100 mile race. The climb is so steep and rugged that runners weave in and out of paths merging and blending. In the night you can’t see where I begin and the dark ends, or where the dark starts and I end.<br />
<br />
Energy is high right now, but give it another 12 hours & this climb will break runners, it’s armor too tough for their minds to get through, turning them around in their tracks, back to the aid station to turn in a bib. But that’s not an option for me, that girl doesn’t exist anymore. The inky dark highlights cheekbones, deltoids, quads and bones that were broken and will never be the same. Once you break you can’t go back. You only know this when you experience the trauma.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I think my night lasts longer than others.<br />
The longest moments are between the roosters call when the night is so dark that two lights barely cut through it, one light on my waist, one on my head. The moment draws slowly toward a light glow on the horizon when dark and light are still one, both exist simultaneously. ⠀<br />
<br />
Under the surface of my skin a fire burns so hot that sweat flows even in the dark night. Strong wind clanks bamboo fiercely, like a sword battle & I’m running through a tunnel of these swords, protected amidst the storm and violence. The wind howls so loud I pull my headphones off & they grip my neck.<br />
<br />
I’m not a runner in a race anymore, I’m an animal in the forest and my arms instinctively spread out, palms up and open to the night sky, chin up, mouth open and howling with the wind, just a little bit of glowing skin highlighted by stars & a lifting night, glistening sweat, a world amidst a world.<br />
<br />
Photo: Paul Smith<br />
HURT 100 1/18/20<br />
5th finish<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-38321937825572773562019-12-12T17:51:00.001-08:002019-12-12T18:11:53.316-08:00Breathing into the Heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig-XORnJZuCtyjcAkALS8d4AaNTOovPVbkdJkRaYnbvG1UVgtyIttgl_XYGGr-wAP3t2578qxs4EIMpzg0frN6JhMIKiVbXYsqUJymx8LhKANv4AOe6A8pKX-67HPJk8sTQVzhSuupc6I/s1600/79244081_2660687700633845_7789881892420976640_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig-XORnJZuCtyjcAkALS8d4AaNTOovPVbkdJkRaYnbvG1UVgtyIttgl_XYGGr-wAP3t2578qxs4EIMpzg0frN6JhMIKiVbXYsqUJymx8LhKANv4AOe6A8pKX-67HPJk8sTQVzhSuupc6I/s320/79244081_2660687700633845_7789881892420976640_o.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">4:45am wake up alarm, carefully pushing my body up, taking care to avoid any pressure on my back but I still wince as the pain of moving, the pain of my back and hamstrings reaches my sleepy brain. It’s been many hard weeks of training</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My eyes are the last part of my body to wake up and I cover them as I enter the bathroom, switching on the light, draping my oversized blue bathrobe over my shirt with one hand, other hand still protecting my eyes. Outside, there’s a new blanket of snow on the ground and the cold seems to seep through the windows and walls. The moon sits above the mountains, a glow around it.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It’s 5:30am, I need at least 15 minutes to drive through the snow to yoga, defrost blasting, Khalid in the background:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“The days get brighter when you're here</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So I gotta keep you near</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Goin' crazy and I just can't get you outta my head”</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Thinking about you and rereading your text. You were up at 4am this morning, “Sorry for not saying goodnight.” But I know how tired you must be from a stressful week.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It’s 6am and it’s time for an hour of hot vinyasa yoga flow class. My yoga mat curls up at the end, still frozen from being left in the car overnight. Underneath me it feels cold, like the ground beneath the snow. Above me the heat roars from vents. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-size: 14px;">There are just four of us in class and at 6am class it’s just the most committed yogis. “Nice job you all have the bind” the teacher says approvingly while we are in extended side angle. Beginners don’t come at 6am</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Just as it is in life, some poses are easy, and some are hard. Some come naturally, some take lots of work. I love yoga because I can make these comparisons to life all day. This pose is easy for me, even with a full arm bind, but breathing through the flow takes practice. Whenever it gets hard, I struggle and I find myself holding my breath. “Huuuuuuuh” as I let my breath go, remembering again to be here, now. Breathing in, again alive in the moment</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I open my chest, my heart, with the arm bind in Utthita Parsvakonasana and my back becomes a stream of sweat as if flowing from my heart. The heat is roaring, and sweat becomes a river, drip drip drip on my yoga towel, my chest to the sky</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-34227410573464052552019-12-12T17:38:00.001-08:002019-12-12T17:38:53.725-08:00Mile 90<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwGPDoiR_od3PGF90EOJYatXuJOqPOxK0Ca4X8aHsIm9Ii05QvPyIELj-nl9Snti8oRUzXuGlY7wp89cxxHQ-ZU7_4PKuR0bPx5cFpGdXncgzdiZwlI8F1zq8AwOwY9yNHSSc1QoCEWh8/s1600/79774875_2661411023894846_6937711465512042496_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwGPDoiR_od3PGF90EOJYatXuJOqPOxK0Ca4X8aHsIm9Ii05QvPyIELj-nl9Snti8oRUzXuGlY7wp89cxxHQ-ZU7_4PKuR0bPx5cFpGdXncgzdiZwlI8F1zq8AwOwY9yNHSSc1QoCEWh8/s320/79774875_2661411023894846_6937711465512042496_o.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I have run so many miles at one time,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Through the day and through the night,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">That I’m not sure my legs will work</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You haven’t ever run that far,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But I think you know that feeling right now</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">90 miles in, on top of a mountain peak</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My legs feel like glass that's barely held together:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Like a windshield after an accident</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">miraculously still in one piece </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">by a mysterious glue </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It's veined and looks like puzzle pieces </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">that a child put together </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">but it is complete</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You are too</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You haven’t ever run this far</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">—</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But you’re 90 miles in, in your own way.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I wish I could help you, to be the glue</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I wrote this to tell you that you are close to 100 miles</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">close close close </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Sometimes, we make things hard so we will break,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It is a choice we make—</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Sometimes, without breaking we can’t get stronger</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I know this truth at Mile 90 </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">That's how I get to mile 100</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Shatter shatter shatter</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I know it’s hard t</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">o break into so many pieces</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But you’re at mile 90, I promise</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">That's how you get to mile 100. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I wish I could help you, to be the glue</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So I write this</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">—</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">To let you know it’s ok to break</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Sometimes, without breaking we can’t get stronger</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">that’s how you rebuild,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">rebuild rebuild rebuild</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-10442622505062676782019-12-05T10:44:00.000-08:002019-12-05T19:52:24.326-08:00Silent Goodbye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0omlSNorAs9Lbs0tvALU6dOemz6RrjtLDJDWs7TN92L5qOMsxRcSOsvg3xESjjY67qoawgnT_xRSyhqfubmpeMMUIjcSe4GxV8HFyeSqq6-4-RwQWyOtJ4FfGaXozDk23ycag3Thst80/s1600/3668A0A5-1DF5-47B9-9551-EE1BB8BEAAA2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0omlSNorAs9Lbs0tvALU6dOemz6RrjtLDJDWs7TN92L5qOMsxRcSOsvg3xESjjY67qoawgnT_xRSyhqfubmpeMMUIjcSe4GxV8HFyeSqq6-4-RwQWyOtJ4FfGaXozDk23ycag3Thst80/s320/3668A0A5-1DF5-47B9-9551-EE1BB8BEAAA2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The mountain is always here, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">the seasons coming and going, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">time passing, leaving its mark, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">a mark that slowly fades like a scar</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Words are like fire and they can burn hot</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So I say nothing at all anymore, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">not even goodbye.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You read a book that was written about me</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">about a time in my life years ago </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">a time of even greater pain and suffering </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I could not defend myself</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Your fears were acknowledged in these stories</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Because you carry your pain too, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">like a book.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">We all find the truth we seek—</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It’s too late now, but I wish we could have created a new truth, together</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">One that made us both feel safe instead of the one we told </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">that was born from suffering and pain</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">As the fog settles into the valleys </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I say goodbye silently because words still aren’t safe </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Fog obscures the roads and homes below </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">and from it rises the cold mountains, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">a layer of new snow highlighted </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">b</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">y the darker contours of the ridges and trees</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I run along the mountain’s lines, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">formed years ago and telling stories </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">of growth and destruction. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Maybe the mountain feels pain too? </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Yesterday’s snow makes the mountains look brand new </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">and I say goodbye to summer, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">goodbye to the warmth</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The mountain is always here, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">the seasons coming and going, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">time passing, leaving its mark, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">a mark that slowly fades like a scar</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: , , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">12/4/19 Candice Burt</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-26551724382340906762019-12-03T13:26:00.000-08:002019-12-03T13:26:20.092-08:00Exploring the Psyche<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvjKXI_1rq4XDhxcm-cEczjL8y20bJoOU5zYMnQGzDvLFq5KWupLhVeeM4ChAlgRZ97-iO7ybODEhU3II1CfLtESE_0jB-voavIXCKPNARmceQmPIUy40181ok8iUV6vl-T0wWZdhhSg/s1600/76706784_2640963599272922_3480736385390870528_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="967" data-original-width="1440" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvjKXI_1rq4XDhxcm-cEczjL8y20bJoOU5zYMnQGzDvLFq5KWupLhVeeM4ChAlgRZ97-iO7ybODEhU3II1CfLtESE_0jB-voavIXCKPNARmceQmPIUy40181ok8iUV6vl-T0wWZdhhSg/s320/76706784_2640963599272922_3480736385390870528_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
It was our one day off from a week of 200 miles course marking & naturally we decided to do a 15mi run, sans bulky, heavy packs, course marking gear & chaffing/bruising that builds up over the course of a week of marking while carrying a loaded hiking pack & running/hiking hundreds of miles. Running up a trail w/ a light pack was rest enough for us. Our bodies had become accustomed to working hard day after day: a routine of rising early, marking all day, making dinner & repacking our bulky bags for the next days sections: Hammer? Stapler? Signs? Water, snacks, jacket? Check. Today would be different.<br />
<br />
I chose Angry Mountain because it was close by our camp, I still had a full day of computer work to do & I’d never been on those trails. Everyone in the group joined and we started up the trail, it was defined and easy to follow for several miles, zig zagging mostly straight up the mountain. Until it wasn’t. Four miles in the trail became a maze of downed trees and we had to watch very carefully to tell where it switch backed up the mountain. There are signs to follow, but you have to pay careful attention. Snapped branches, a sliver of trail under the trunk of a tree ... after a few miles of this jungle I was ready to call it a day.<br />
<br />
Looking at my Gaia app I could see the peak of the mountain so damn close. “Hey guys!” A group of 4 gathering around, “Let’s cut over here & summit Angry Mountain. It’s only about it 1/4 mile off trail.” Considering we weren’t really on a trail anyway, it seemed safe enough. There were no dissenting opinions. Everyone wanted to pop out of the trees and see the view, if any. Hopping, crunching, parting branches we moved straight up into a meadow with rocky outcroppings.<br />
<br />
A view of endless mountains. The breeze massaged my bare arms, goosebumps forming not because it was cold, but from the expansiveness, it hit me and I felt indivisible, interconnected to the mountains all around me. I wasn’t a runner moving up the mountain, but rather I was a part of the mountain moving up itself. My steps, my running, exploring the world, but also my psyche. The distinction was electrifying and brought up a powerful reverence.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-45029703262390926112019-11-15T21:47:00.001-08:002019-11-15T21:47:13.975-08:00Facing Monsters and Finishing the 170 mile Tahoe Rim Trail<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkg_PclUtDwNl5AZ0J4pq06PfEX0SCk7k1rFUh5GJJJ3O-rXPuRxHoWiLJ34p-Rvys94y3-Fba4fohcm_DJ5mylyQzn8fUiO-FvN-aoEfY6QfBWxTa75fFZxli4dvCcEFe9mPJMyN-dl0/s1600/DA82BE2F-BFF6-4F3F-8B4D-3A077123A9D2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkg_PclUtDwNl5AZ0J4pq06PfEX0SCk7k1rFUh5GJJJ3O-rXPuRxHoWiLJ34p-Rvys94y3-Fba4fohcm_DJ5mylyQzn8fUiO-FvN-aoEfY6QfBWxTa75fFZxli4dvCcEFe9mPJMyN-dl0/s320/DA82BE2F-BFF6-4F3F-8B4D-3A077123A9D2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I knew I needed to lie down but this spot wouldn’t do, a wolf was intensely staring me down and I wasn’t willing to take a chance that it was real. Just up the trail I found an open spot with no wolves. I glanced around briefly to confirm, but not so long that I’d give myself time to see more monsters lurking. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I hadn’t rested in 65 hours. I was so close but I might as well be 170 miles away still. It felt like I’d never be done. I only had 10 miles left and yet it didn’t matter, the trail had won, I was stumbling forward at barely 1mph seeing a world that was hidden to everyone else full of spirits, demons, angels and wild animals. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Adventures aren’t about getting trophies, medals, accolades, FKTs, CRs, or recognition. Adventure has no real glory. It’s brutal and demanding. It tears you up until you are ready to admit defeat. It makes you whimper and pray because in the end control is an illusion. Adventure is about overcoming again and again until all that ego is washed clean and all that’s left is sunburned skin, shattered glass legs, parched throat, sore elbows, swollen hands, crunchy Achilles and an indomitable human spirit. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">On my third attempt to complete the entire Tahoe Rim Trail</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> in one go, all 170 miles, I experienced a full break down of expectations and ego bringing about an intense appreciation for the trail, for Tahoe, a place I’ve lived and explored on and off for nearly 20 years. I explored the depths of my psyche through some crazy hallucinations from web covered trails formed onto textures I can’t even fully explain to ice encrusted trees and herds of wild cats to dead people hanging from trees I fully went there while hanging on. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL7S8Q4-zm_PjKcofbQODhmE1dBvDHJehZoqeWZyM0eMh47r0gc0NpibDII-RkVu-mRxeqP6GXcigxyhrnDTz_0pcqSj8amR_ZswBpPrbAFnnTputNR-UgjENgWwpxdsibqsluB8d-uJc/s1600/91B1B838-27F4-4569-8CA8-AB106E2A4E75.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL7S8Q4-zm_PjKcofbQODhmE1dBvDHJehZoqeWZyM0eMh47r0gc0NpibDII-RkVu-mRxeqP6GXcigxyhrnDTz_0pcqSj8amR_ZswBpPrbAFnnTputNR-UgjENgWwpxdsibqsluB8d-uJc/s320/91B1B838-27F4-4569-8CA8-AB106E2A4E75.JPG" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Adventure isn’t about awards, unless you count those hard earned scars and memories. It’s about persevering and completing what we set out to do, it’s about fulfilling our human commitment. After some prodding by Kevin Westlake</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> to take a photo at the trail’s completion, I hadn’t even looked at my watch to see my final time, I posed: an ode to my love for this magical place.</span><br />
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Finished in 72:21:xx running unsupported (carried all my own gear and food the entire way without resupply) beginning Wednesday, Nov 6 and finishing Saturday, Nov 9. Began and finished in Tahoe City (64 acre park)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-81781805620472767182019-09-30T20:09:00.004-07:002019-09-30T20:09:38.309-07:00A Glimpse Beyond the Usual<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTcYzrWObijgPd_6RZ83f5xrb8M8ON5SF7koM3gzuLpAdbzsLtzicdXah-oeGbLjVdmuKe0lAMZJzki2li6aPxrYnr3sRFqn-nK6alUAwSTVD_yUK7RqS45tAYb0pivcNlDGOtXhObDeM/s1600/IMG_3816.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTcYzrWObijgPd_6RZ83f5xrb8M8ON5SF7koM3gzuLpAdbzsLtzicdXah-oeGbLjVdmuKe0lAMZJzki2li6aPxrYnr3sRFqn-nK6alUAwSTVD_yUK7RqS45tAYb0pivcNlDGOtXhObDeM/s320/IMG_3816.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo by Howie Stern </span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I glance at my watch, 5 minutes to go. It briefly feels like the Earth moves but it’s just the power of this moment in time when anything is possible and therefore everything is possible. It’s nerves, I’m about to have runners pledge to me in real Luis Escobar and Caballo Blanco fashion a pledge of responsibility: </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“If I get lost” the runners repeat loudly, </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“hurt” ... many voices chiming in, </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“or die” ... </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">“it’s my own damn fault.” </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">And with a few nervous laughs from the runners and even louder laugh into a hum from the growing crowd, I glance again at my watch. 2 minutes. Again, the earth, my stomach moves. I’m about to start the 2019 Tahoe 200 Mile Endurance Run with the biggest field in the history of 200 milers in the USA. I created this beast and it’s amazing to see how it’s turned into something, from nothing. Nearly 250 runners from almost every state and so many countries that our start line chute is filled with colorful flags, flapping in the light breeze. But it won’t be light for long. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This is the Sierra Nevada Mountains and these runners are about to embark on a 205 mile journey... of up to 100hrs/4 days. We don’t know it yet, but the course will be blanketed in inches of snow by the last 24 hours and yet, the runners persist, pushing through obstacles, most in their minds, but oh so real... many large, looming in front of them: steep climbs, torrential downpours, freezing nights, tired legs, pain and fatigue. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Even overpowering hallucinations and reality slowly slipping away. And the snow covering the mountains like a cold blanket on the last day, making everything look brand new again, that’s what I’d hope for at the end of this quest: discovery of something brand new, a side of myself that perhaps I’d never seen before, a glimpse beyond the usual day to day grind, something extraordinary. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-53902888665752575912019-09-30T20:05:00.001-07:002019-09-30T20:05:45.104-07:00The Bear's Message<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">As I climbed up a hillside so steep even the wisps of clouds settled in trees thinking they’d already reached the sky, a brown bear came rolling down the slope. For a moment he could’ve been a rock, but no... he paused, looked over at me just as surprised and moved gracefully to the East, disappearing so quickly I wondered if he was real. He was small enough I considered that his mother might come bounding down the slope too, half hoping she would and half worried she would but the only sound was The Weeknd singing “Try Me” in my ears. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">❄️</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I pushed pause on my headphones listening intently, the soft sound of wind moving branches and snow dropping. Doe</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;">s the bear have a message for me? The thought passed through my mind as though each moment in the frozen forest was important. I wasn’t always sure what was a dream and what was this world, this lifetime. Would my dreaming self wake up in a start and wonder about her bear dream? Recall her cold feet and the feeling of deep sadness she carried up the mountain? </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">❄️</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I was still here though and I was in some remote forest, the closest human many miles away. I was making the first white tracks up the mountain. Lightly, lightly, the snow landed around me, on my waterproof hooded jacket, hitting my pants and melting into streams soaking my shoes. I was startled by my watch vibrating, one more mile it said. Lightly, lightly the snow fell until the wind swirled the snow flakes into angry clouds, biting my face and cheeks. I moved my buff over my nose. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">❄️</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">For a moment a light so bright someone could’ve turned on a cosmic flashlight above the mountains south of me, but it was the sun hiding behind a blustery snow filled cloud, the mist shifted and suddenly the mountains came into view: yellows, oranges, red, green and grey albeit for the top 1/3 which was frozen in white. The view stirring up feelings, like the breeze had moved the snow a moment before, and now I was moved to feel awe and fear. An appreciation for the power of the landscape and my small part in it: I was as insignificant as the snow that would melt one day, I was a part of the landscape a part of what made it wild and free.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicFxESAhGlROLWitjrFICV1KD94jfcBg7CE7lSv2o3fiidimcp0_k725fPXSIs4apGRm_QrYx0UdNtMmNrDgBK34iqjzy6vJlCtFdbM2mc5fZOnBiWoE5jC5B0jusI3enMHoonDuZNPw0/s1600/A22A142D-2E7E-41A3-ABEB-4FA114F74D64.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1436" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicFxESAhGlROLWitjrFICV1KD94jfcBg7CE7lSv2o3fiidimcp0_k725fPXSIs4apGRm_QrYx0UdNtMmNrDgBK34iqjzy6vJlCtFdbM2mc5fZOnBiWoE5jC5B0jusI3enMHoonDuZNPw0/s320/A22A142D-2E7E-41A3-ABEB-4FA114F74D64.JPG" width="287" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-25430201202057882722019-09-26T15:24:00.000-07:002019-09-26T15:24:24.614-07:00Choosing DNS <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix7v6GLBN858KgFs7g3ygIGcBW9xphMn4hHXkj90RUZvkUGHTbNvC5VXNnATpzI7OZcj3Uh6JJgpk6t6izeGj2A5zCxL15ZXD8Tps5GNo0wmfPJL5pk-H-T9agtH8Tcd6Vl9Z076n_fWo/s1600/64397336_10156031358196116_6511282669706280960_o+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix7v6GLBN858KgFs7g3ygIGcBW9xphMn4hHXkj90RUZvkUGHTbNvC5VXNnATpzI7OZcj3Uh6JJgpk6t6izeGj2A5zCxL15ZXD8Tps5GNo0wmfPJL5pk-H-T9agtH8Tcd6Vl9Z076n_fWo/s640/64397336_10156031358196116_6511282669706280960_o+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Setting an FKT on the 20 mile Enchantment Lakes Traverse in July</td></tr>
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<i>Is a DNS better than a DNF?</i> I pondered this thought as I cancelled my 4th 100 mile entry in a row this past week. Part of what was at play was an over zealous registration last year when training was going well and my business was feeling under control. But every year is different and this year has been... interesting.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsXmkiSvryvVOBSwh56uNwhbtiVHem2AuUHnZOkzLqO7TFirTsz5vuKgfwqeUae7RByKyL_z3el78zPvPebh-0g6l2Y7ja3MmWmFIdwXTOKQjW_Ji6im_3yrBGDdUn3HbUn4ISdWp_DW4/s1600/IMG_2493.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsXmkiSvryvVOBSwh56uNwhbtiVHem2AuUHnZOkzLqO7TFirTsz5vuKgfwqeUae7RByKyL_z3el78zPvPebh-0g6l2Y7ja3MmWmFIdwXTOKQjW_Ji6im_3yrBGDdUn3HbUn4ISdWp_DW4/s320/IMG_2493.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HURT 100 in January</td></tr>
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I had a great first two months of racing at the start of the year getting 4th at HURT 100 and 1st at Delirious WEST 200 mile. 4th is my "worst" finish at the HURT 100 but I was proud of how I rallied and was able to finish strong despite some challenges along the way. I didn't DNF, I toughed it out and got it done and I think it was respectable even if it wasn't my best running of the race (I've done it 6 times) and not even close to what I believe I'm capable of there. Gives me more fuel for this year's race. Delirious WEST was fun and a breakthrough for me as it was my first 200+ mile finish. As a 200 mile race director this meant a lot. I can't wait to do more 200+ mile races and keep pushing my body to see what it's capable of.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFD_h3AXoK6i9Mx0LD8d3pTNGkXyYg2EQgsJwQ6sMRbiro89fUwcaFK-UoQSC28NleEub7g9eIYTcg-lJE5yjSxxOWlaOnYwthDAaOJB2_hGLXUkM_2z8vnRSg3usu9eHN8940ZNgYW8/s1600/IMG_7922.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1309" data-original-width="1309" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFD_h3AXoK6i9Mx0LD8d3pTNGkXyYg2EQgsJwQ6sMRbiro89fUwcaFK-UoQSC28NleEub7g9eIYTcg-lJE5yjSxxOWlaOnYwthDAaOJB2_hGLXUkM_2z8vnRSg3usu9eHN8940ZNgYW8/s320/IMG_7922.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quick photo at the last aid station while running 200 miles in Australia</td></tr>
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Then injury happened 10 days after Delirious WEST 200. In hindsight there wasn't much I could've done but knowing what I know now I would take more time to recover after such a long effort. 10 days wasn't enough. I should have taken 3 weeks. But it was all training for my upcoming 800 mile Arizona Trail record attempt and I was supposed to be ok. The AZ Attempt was my ultimate goal this year. I was supposed to seamlessly work recovery into training and then knock out 800 miles for a new overall FKT if all went well. Weeks of injury led into months. Dates were rescheduled then rescheduled again.<br />
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I was biking 150 miles a week, lifting weights daily and still 100% focused on my FKT goal. You can't force your body to recover though. You can't force a race or a speed attempt to happen on your timeline either. It's a delicate balance of ideal life situation (lack of outside stress), on point training and recovery and when any of those things are off you can quickly become derailed.<br />
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I struggled mentally after my Delirious WEST 200 mile race. I was staying up to 2, 3 even 4am working on a high that seemed like no end was in sight. I'd sleep in and get back at it, working all day and biking 2-3 hours. My work load was heavy as I was shouldering the work of at least 2 people managing a busy company and trying to start a few other side businesses. Looking back, I can see how I failed to give myself the space I needed to keep growing athletically during that time. Less is more. It's so damn true.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqp_nUSiPISVmLZVFFSYhVLJwUH6SgekhNKHB0fHdHA3z9ljJV97I3e8zLOAU20HFQQUGiIczauWt3mcW8FYTD2LjEpsjJK2e2Tws08ZFFgVi6UZ08u6Jot_UXg548IkypsXXgrZjUmII/s1600/IMG_7820.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="540" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqp_nUSiPISVmLZVFFSYhVLJwUH6SgekhNKHB0fHdHA3z9ljJV97I3e8zLOAU20HFQQUGiIczauWt3mcW8FYTD2LjEpsjJK2e2Tws08ZFFgVi6UZ08u6Jot_UXg548IkypsXXgrZjUmII/s400/IMG_7820.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Receiving my finish line medal after finishing 3rd overall and 1st female at Delirious WEST 200</td></tr>
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By the time by calf injury had healed post-Delirious WEST 200 mile in mid-May (almost 3 months after DW200) it was too late in the season to attempt the AZ trail, at least for a speed attempt. Temperatures would be too high and my crew who were all lined up to start April 15 had other obligations. It was really hard to give up the attempt but I didn't have a choice if I wanted to succeed. It was as if I needed everything else in the world to tell me it wasn't the right time, I couldn't see it myself until it was the only option. I didn't <i>want</i> to see it.<br />
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The rest of my athletic season continued in similar fashion, the stress of work and being a mom was too much for me to seriously race over the summer and into the fall. I was working 12 hour days on the computer while making meals for my kids, getting them to school and caring for the household. I dreamed of a simple life where I'd spend the day just mowing the lawn. I mean, <i>who has the time to mow the lawn?!</i> The gift of my overwork and busyness was that I began to appreciate the small things like a puppy sleeping on my lap, sweeping the floor and doing dishes and taking my kids out to dinner. Each restful, non-working moment was precious.<br />
<br />
I am hard on myself though, the hardest. Online trolls can and do chide me about my goals and each failure, they make fake social media for this purpose alone and yet they are no match fo me. I am much harder on myself. No one can match my drive or intensity. I will tear myself up, punish myself like no one else. It's a blessing and a curse.<br />
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If I lighten up a bit, I can see that I have had a good year. I was able to set an FKT in July on the <a href="xhttps://fastestknowntime.com/athlete/candice-burt">Enchantment Lakes Traverse</a> amidst a busy life/work schedule. When I consider my season and my business I can honestly say that I had three successful athletic achievements this year despite feeling like a bit of an athletic failure over the last 2 months.<br />
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Thus far my race directing season has also been going very well. I managed the largest 200 in the USA with nearly 250 runners over 205 miles around Lake Tahoe this month and it went seamlessly thanks to a strong team of employees/contractors and 6+ years of experience. If you'd asked me 3 years ago if 200s really are the new 100s I'd have laughed and said, no way, that's just a thing we say because Stephen Jones started it (thanks SJ) and because it's fun to annoy that slice of the population and the UR community that don't want to acknowledge the distance's popularity or just dislike me. I'd have said that 200s can't/won't gain that level of popularity anytime soon. If you ask me today though, I'd say yes and it's happening before my eyes. This is all very exciting and it has also meant giving the races more of my attention that I have needed to in previous years. I've been organizing 200s for 7 years! Can you believe it? That's a solid chunk of time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Marking the Bigfoot 200</td></tr>
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On a personal level this year my kids were changing school between my Bigfoot 200 and Tahoe 200 races and it took all my energy to manage this plus the logistics of my company with lots of moving parts. Instead of racing and training perfectly I focused on meeting my family's needs, being there for my kids as they navigated their new school, and making sure every "i" was dotted and "t" crossed with my company and races. Some side projects were put on hold: the podcast, home remodeling projects and some of my business ideas and new races I'm developing.<br />
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In the middle of all of this I found myself falling more and more in love. When it rains it pours. Love teaches you to prioritize. It teaches you what's important and it's not what you think is important like work or making money, it's time and family. I've written and podcasted about this romance over the past year, and it has been challenging at times. We broke up in late spring at the height of my injury and my AZ Trail planning. It taught us to communicate better, to be more aware when we were feeling stressed and how that affects the relationship. We tried, succeeded, suffered, flourished and adapted to the challenges that we each faced this year - no small task for a new relationship.<br />
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I thought I had no room for love or romance or another person in my life and yet when you find real love you make the space. We lived nearly 3,000 miles apart and time has just brought us closer. I've heard it said that love doesn't know time, space, or limitation and I do believe it is true. It can't always survive these challenges but sometimes it does. Love that is special doesn't happen every day or year or decade but somehow in the funniest and most unlikely way we met last January and it probably would have just remained a chance meeting and a fun conversation but we had such a strong connection from the moment we met that it didn't end there. Makes me wonder how the world really works and whether we are connected with certain people in other realms or realities or lives. I don't know, but I appreciate that it's special.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dating me pretty much means pacing a minimum of 100k even for a non-runner. Delirious WEST 200.</td></tr>
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We all go through transitionary times in our lives that require us to spend more time building our foundations and being there for our loved ones. I think this year adds up to me learning to better prioritize what's important and plan races and training for seasons where my work isn't as intensive. This is part of why I always love racing HURT 100. It's in January, my "off" season and I have more energy to put into it. Because ultramarathons take a lot of energy and when we have jobs and families we must respect that.<br />
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Here's to almost being done with my Triple Crown of 200s, one more to go (Moab 240)! Then I get to really focus on training for the HURT 100, Delirious WEST 200 and a new attempt at the AZ Trail next April with much more wisdom than I had earlier this year! the silver lining is more time to earn money for my charity, Girls on the Run. So far we are at $2,500+!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-83455118034099375812019-08-16T21:56:00.001-07:002019-08-16T22:58:26.806-07:00Desperation, Bigfoot 200 and Brown Floral Print RV Living<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo: Howie Stern</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br />“What am I doing with my life?”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I laughed when I said it because I was joking but it was true. It was really, really true. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I laughed as I pushed through another day of no sleep, my mind so numb with race logistics and tasks I was slurring my words, staring blankly in space unsure of what I had planned to say, wanting to be anywhere but where I was: in a brown floral print RV organizing a 200 mile race in the Cascade Mountains. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">“I mean really?!” I punctuated and it WAS funny because I was supposed to be living the life everyone wants. A successful businesswoman who could juggle just about anything. Mom, homeowner, podcaster, writer, sponsored athlete. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The truth of the matter is that it’s no where near as satisfying, glamorous or fun as it sounds to do what I do. Like any job it’s a lot of work and my quest for perfection and success has led me to push myself up to— or perhaps beyond my mental and physical limits. I return home after organizing a 200 mile race as though I too had run that far, without the same physical symptoms but with the sleep deprivation and burn out that comes with being constantly "on."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">In the next few hours after joking about my life choices at the race site I caught myself trying to speak about something, I can’t remember exactly what it was now, and realizing I wasn’t forming real words but I was mixing my thoughts and pronunciations so poorly I was speaking illegibly. My daughter, the recipient of my words stared at me confused. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“I’m sorry, I can’t think straight” I said. We were in the large musty building carpeted with bright green plastic carpet we termed the "Warehouse" and I remember I was bending down going through a box, surrounded by piles of organized race supplies, albeit seemingly chaotic. Soda by the dozen, cook stoves, tables, hundreds of </span>labeled<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> bins: vegan food, first aid, cups, </span>extension<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> cords, heaters, Christmas lights. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We could host a disaster relief shelter for at least a thousand people with the supplies from sleep station gear, the 40 five gallon propane tanks, 50... 60... maybe 80 coolers. Hundreds of water jugs outside. Our headquarter crew, on a mission, walking through the Warehouse with one with a list and pen cocked, another with an arm full of supplies sweating, yet another with a hand cart stacked with four plastic totes. My other daughter hands out, eyes closed, facing the one little fan we had in the old building. A rumbling outside: the reefer truck filled with food outside thundering on as it powered up the cool air to keep 4 days worth of perishable food for 200 runners cold. It was race check in day and I had just an hour until I would speak in front of hundreds of runners and their crews. I had to focus. The crew was in GO mode.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">The process of focusing and delivering a speech when you’re exhausted and scattered into hundreds of places at once is like putting on blinders. No social media, no email, no talking, no socializing. Focus. Breath. I have to hide away by myself making a quiet sanctuary for my head. Excited runners moving around outside, I could feel the buzz of race check in and it blared through my head like an alarm: HERE WE GO READY OR NOT MUTHAFUCKA. Make notes and breathe. Sleep will come one day. Just 6 more days...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Between those speeches and now a whole world, what feels like a whole year happened, too much to write about now and by the last day of the race I'm in survival mode. Almost there. It’s terribly exhausting and draining to organize a 200 miler. Especially 3 in a row. After more than a week of little to no sleep, 2 weeks of non stop interacting with people and no time to just relax, no shower, pawing through clothes in a pile on the floor next to my bed, jumping up out of a cot at the sound of bells to greet the next runner. My eyes hurt. I can't open them properly. The football field lights make the track, our finish line, almost as bright as day except for the small patch of dark under the merchandise tent where I have set my cot so I can jump up between runners finishing. Although I'd love to say "fuck it" and just go climb into bed after 4 nights awake I cannot bare the thought of a runner finishing without a greeting party.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I'm not the only one up at this hour. Just an hour ago one of our employees collapsed with a seizure and we desperately tried to revive him, me rubbing his leg, our medic yelling at him when his eyes rolled over in his head: <b>stay with us</b>! Eyes jerking back, but still halfway (mostly?) gone. The ambulance arriving after an eternity lights flashing. Runners in a circle around a heater staring silently. The irony of the need for medical care for an employee, not a runner was not lost on me. And just like that we were down one key person but that was okay because our motto is always: make it work. There's no other choice. I was just relieved he was going to be ok. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Bells ringing again, and try as I might to hide under my sleeping bag on my cot amidst the Bigfoot hoodies, t-shirts and hats, the ringing was electric. I would be dreaming about it for days, weeks after the event. O</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">ur photographer is up too now, camera ready. Our chef claps in the background ready to take this exhausted runner's order at 3am and he too looks like it's been 200 miles. Despite the fatigue, the stress, the non stop challenges that we face as organizers, volunteers and staff I smile. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">What a feeling this must be to finally reach this finish line. Bigfoot is a monster, I know it because I created it. It's insanely hard terrain and the route travels through many eco systems from volcano eruption zone, sand and lava fields, raging river crossings, trails leading into the most remote terrain in the state, ridge lines with grinding non stop climbs, tree hopping and death defying exposure and this year -- lightening and torrential rain storms, I most certainly do know: what a feeling that must be. </span></div>
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We even had a black hawk helicopter extraction this year. That's what happens when you have a major medical emergency between two checkpoints, 8 miles from any road, unable to move. And he was okay, the runner was okay when all was said and done but thank goodness for a quick extraction or he may not have been. Thanks to one of our runners who alerted us to the issue, our on site medic who hiked in to care for him until the rescue was complete, our medical director who calmly managed communications between the on site medic, SAR and other emergency services. </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">After weeks of not being able to think of anything not related to the Bigfoot 200 I’m barely able to function. My words need to be simple or I lose my train of thought or stumble like a runner in the last 50 miles of a multi day race. I feel like a bundle of nerves, sitting at the finish line, my finish line as a director too, it's the last day of the race and I feel like maybe I will be free again one day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">"Please leave your suggestions in the suggestion box." I want to say to a well meaning runner who comes up to offer some ideas. </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">It's a joke because we don't actually have a suggestion box.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Not today, not today. Today I need to survive. Tomorrow I will process and maybe my head will work again. I feel exhausted beyond any normal need for sleep. I am mentally as low as I can get before I can no longer truly function. Life feels flat and unsatisfying. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I have more employees than ever and yet the work load and stress seems to remain constant. Permits don’t get easier, logistics don’t get easier, I don’t get any more sleep, we are more than ever bombarded by special requests despite our policies being more clear than ever before. With success comes the bottom feeders who thrive at spreading lies, gossip, and drama. I won’t play that game. I focus on my own path and let them take theirs, negativity will only hurt those who spew it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">If there’s something I’ve learned from building a successful business and sacrificing my life to it, it’s that nothing is worth sacrificing your happiness and enjoyment over. Passions can burn you up and break you down. You can’t really do your life work for others because at the end of the day they don’t really care about you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">As all these thoughts flood over me, as I sit in my chair staring at my Rowing machine, my yoga mat curled on the floor, foam roller beside it I can’t help but think, “I am going to break." I can’t keep doing this. I want to cry but I’m too dehydrated and drained to go there. It took all my energy to get up off the couch earlier today, to gather the yoga mat and roller.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I'm home now but my mind and body feel broken. I sit briefly in my leather office chair, pouring my feelings into my phone, writing a Facebook post that I’ll never share because I hate that it all sounds like I feel sorry for myself. It sounds like defeat. Delete, delete, delete. We all build our own prisons. My love for the mountains becoming a job, a business with walls and structure. The structure allowing others to engage in their love for the mountains and adventure. As I write, pouring my feelings, experiences and emotions into words, it's as though I can feel the top of the wall, just enough of it to pull myself up to the top. From here at least I can see clearly. The air is free up here and now I can even see the mountains again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Delete, delete. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-50471946958836130352019-07-10T22:55:00.002-07:002021-11-12T12:57:54.493-08:00New Women's FKT for the Enchantment Lakes Traverse!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boulder fields around Colchuck Lake on a fun run of the Enchantments with friends. Photo by Riley Smith.</td></tr>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><span style="background-color: white;">You can do it. Go legs. Go! The first 6 miles took over 2hrs. Much slower than I’d hoped, by about 20 mins, but that was ok. I was in it for the fight and scrambling up rocks, hands gripping corners, pulling my body up, swinging my foot up the boulders the size of small SUVs... toes gripping in cracks, pushing my entire 5’8” frame up into the air to grasp the next rock... slipping backward, leaning into the slope as Colchuck Lake slowly became a mirror of clouds and blue— so damn blue. </span></span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>20 miles, 5,600ft of ascent</b></span><br />
<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Looking into the Enchantment Lake Traverse, the fastest women's time I could find was on Strava at 5 hours 50 minutes and 22 seconds by Colleen Brehm. I knew I wanted to try to set a good time for the route, being that it is in my backyard and that it is a special place for me. I also knew that I had a bit of an edge because I could scout out the best lines to take on the sections that are cross country (off trail). </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My wilderness permit for the FKT</td></tr>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">This would be the shortest FKT I'd ever attempted, and normally shorter routes don't pique my interest because I love <i>the story</i> of running, the adventure. This route was different though. It was gnarly as fuck and had some serious mixed terrain of rock, snow, boulders, scrambling and so much more. It would be an adventure no doubt about it. This was surprisingly intimidating to me because I have grown comfortable in pushing in a longer term endurance kind of way - not really in a red lining kind of way. </span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">The route is somewhere between 18 and 20 miles, I can't quite tell the distance because it seems to be different depending on the GPS I am using and even the day. If you break down Strava's segments, it's about 20.1 miles long, which seems about right. I've noticed my Coros watch tends to read mileage on the low end, so the fact that it states the mileage as 17.45 is not surprising to me. The elevation gain is between 4,700ft-5,600ft for the point to point route I took starting at Stuart Lake Trailhead and ending at Snow Lakes Trailhead. If you do it the opposite direction it climbs 2,000 feet more (for a total of 7,600 ft of climbing for 20 miles) and is uphill for 12 miles, instead of 6. The other direction, having done both, is most certainly slower. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There is still a small snow field on the climb up Aasgard and lots of snow on the middle 6 miles. Photo by Riley Smith.</td></tr>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I hoped to get under 5 hours, but the route is very technical and I needed to be a bit faster in the first 6 miles to do that. I finished in a total time of 5:18:23. Strava lists my segment time as 5:17:44. Still a lot of snow on the middle 6 miles, making those miles also a bit slower than I hoped. Stuart Lake Trailhead to the top of Aasgard Pass was also slower than I hoped but I made up for it in part by a much faster last 12 miles. The climb up to Colchuck Lake and Aasgard Pass is a beast! Key is to know the route because there is no "one" trail to the top but there are lines that will become far too steep to get up without a rope. </span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Here are a few technical details from Strava, not sure how accurate they are but they are interesting:</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>See <a href="https://www.strava.com/activities/2515973027/overview">my entire strava record here</a>.</b></span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>Stuart Trailhead (start) to the top of Aasgard Pass:</b> 2:25:44 for 5.75 miles with 4,406ft of ascent. This might sound slow and <i>it is</i> but not for the terrain. Keep in mind, this segment is super technical with significant "off trail" (aka no trail) navigating through boulder fields with the final 1.3 mile gaining a massive 1,600ft of ascent and no real discernible trail. Still, this segment is definitely my weak point - where I can improve the most next time! The women's Strava segment CR is 9 minutes faster on that segment than mine and I think I can knock off quite a bit if I don't hold back so much.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mountain goats during my FKT run, they are all over the middle 6 miles!</td></tr>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>Aasgard Pass to the Snow Lakes Trailhead:</b> 2:48:46 in 14.35 miles, also very technical and some rock jumping, rock slab descents and sketchy steep downhills. Mostly downhill. This is the segment that I really picked up the pace. Knowing my first 6 miles was not as fast as I hoped I focused my energy and let my legs go as much as I could for the often dangerously technical terrain and often faint trail. Once you get to Snow Lakes the trail becomes clear and the last 6 miles becomes a full on charge to the finish with some rocky/technical and throngs of hikers to get by. All in all it's the fastest part and I pushed the hardest knowing I was almost done. </span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>Here's a bit I wrote on the FKT:</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Me, always glancing up to see the line I was taking as there was no real “trail” just some cairns and a mist of dirt over boulders, like each hiker had left a few breadcrumbs, dust particles, for me to follow and my trail mind, my goat brain? Knowing which way to go like a sleuth, a detective that can follow a trail, a very faint one. The 2000ft wall in of boulders and gravel holding the magnificent enchantments up in the air above Colchuck Lake with peak named “Little Annapurna”, “Dragontail”, “Witches Tower” and “Black Dwarfs” was imposing but I’d made friends with its cold, rough side, I understand dark sides. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I knew that there was a top and that I’d get there but I had to remind myself more than a few times, even on this day. Once I was at the top I could let the magic of the surreal Enchantment Lakes Basin take hold fly through the next 12 miles. Or so I hoped. I have always told myself not to try to figure everything out, to let the magic happen. Pick your goal, then allow things to happen as they must to get there but don’t ever rule out your goal before you’ve reached your end point. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">This FKT was no different, if I allowed myself to become discouraged just 6 miles in to the route I’d never know what was really possible. And with that thought- a belief in magic and myself, I smiled threw my arms in the air, as though I could hug that very moment, thankful to be exactly where I was. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View near the top of Aasgard Pass, looking down at Colchuck Lake, during my FKT</td></tr>
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<br /><span style="background-color: white;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146089657066958317.post-25330728458543782482019-07-02T21:35:00.000-07:002019-08-18T17:25:02.736-07:00Today I Couldn’t Feel Anything <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Staring ahead,</div>
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I see part of my nose:<br />
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more on the right side than the left.</div>
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My right eye must be stronger, I think.</div>
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Each part of my body might as well have been tacked on<br />
nothing seems to be connected today.</div>
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The clouds grow and darken as the day gets later</div>
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and by the time I start my run the rain is falling lightly,</div>
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a bolt of lightening on the mountains a mile away.</div>
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I have a jacket in my pack I know all about storms, </div>
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they can come any time, the sun can sometimes fool you.</div>
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I've been in plenty of storms</div>
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It feels dark and cold inside my head too.</div>
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I still see the tip of my nose as I head up the mountain</div>
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and that's how I know I'm still inside here since there is no feeling.</div>
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Behind my nose, behind my eyes I feel nothing but pressure.</div>
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My dog can find water anywhere close to a trail on a hot day,</div>
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I can tell you where a storm will hit and how big it will be.</div>
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We all learn the things we need to survive,</div>
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Usually a run helps me feel things</div>
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but today I still couldn't feel anything.</div>
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I just move forward until I am done.</div>
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Out of habit I respond to my surroundings </div>
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like I think a human should:</div>
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Hello, excuse me, go ahead, you first.</div>
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Ha ha. Nice to meet you. It sure is stormy today.</div>
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Feed the dogs, make dinner, change my clothes.</div>
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But there is still nothing in this body</div>
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I wish I was on a mountain never touched by man,</div>
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Looking out of these eyes with no need to be human.</div>
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I think from the outside I look normal</div>
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but it takes everything I have to just move </div>
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through the motions of the day.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3